


when the skies get rough

by girlygirl14534



Series: The Adventures of Amy [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst - Relationship - Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Blood, Bucky Barnes Gets a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fear, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Making Up, Multi, Panic Attacks, Reader Gets A Hug, Reader Needs a Hug, Relationship Issues, Relationship Problems, Steve Rogers Gets a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Violence, hurt reader, injured reader, minor implied/referenced childhood abuse/trauma/DV of a secondary character in Chapter 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlygirl14534/pseuds/girlygirl14534
Summary: The plan was for you to never get hurt. Even the best-laid plans don’t survive contact with the enemy.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader
Series: The Adventures of Amy [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903927
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39





	1. Bring Your Boyfriends' Work To Work Day

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags. If you don’t think this story will be your vibe, you can skip it. You can catch back up with everyone in the next installment, which will be more in line with the kinds of stories you’re used to seeing from me!

You and Shay had finished closing just in time for the boys to pick you up for dinner. Shay was running late for her pre-drinks-with-some-European-prince eyebrow appointment, leaving you to set the alarm and lock up. 

“You don’t mind if I leave early, do you? I have to look my best for Philippe!” 

You rolled your eyes but begrudgingly acquiesced. 

“Thank you! You’ll definitely be invited to my royal wedding!” she called as she skipped off. 

You didn’t want to wait for the boys in the cold, so you opted to stay in the library for a few minutes. _It’s funny that libraries get a reputation for being quiet when there’s so much sound that happens here: the turning of pages, typing at keyboards, photos of cats being printed, conversations at the reference and circulation desks, and even the occasional loud outburst and ensuing scuffle with security._ In your experience, libraries were never quiet while in use. Now, after hours, the only sound to keep you company was the humming of the lights. You had never been alone in here, you realized. It was kind of eerie.

You checked your phone. Steve had sent you a text. It was a picture of Bucky inspecting flowers at a street cart. Steve’s message read: “We may be a few minutes late.” You laughed, smiling at your phone like an idiot. You had just finished typing “No worries,” when you heard a thud. The sound was deafening in the silence of the empty library. There was a large bookshelf to your right. It was one of those old wooden ones that hearkened back to a time when this space would've been illuminated by oil lamps and candles rather than fluorescents. It was several feet taller than you and stretched out for yards, and someone or something was making noise behind it. You put down your phone and bag on the desk and walked a little closer. 

You heard a new sound, one that you immediately recognized: falling books. As the sound traveled along the bookshelf, you recognized the thuds: footsteps. Your best guess was a rambunctious teenager. They tried to spend the night here all the time, but the rounds you did at the end of every day to check for stray patrons always discovered them. _I knew Shay came back too quickly from checking her section!_ Shay had never been thorough, and with her royal wedding on the brain, it’s a wonder she came to work today at all. 

When the vandal rounded the corner, you were shocked to see a man in a long, black coat walking towards you. This was definitely not the rebellious teen you had expected. Had he not heard the multiple announcements that the library was closed? As you looked, you realized that you remembered him. You had noticed him earlier because he had given off major creepy vibes. He had asked you to show him to the romance section. You told him how to get there, refusing his repeated requests for you to take him there personally. You hadn’t seen him again and had assumed he left the library at some point. You were wrong. You felt some apprehension in the pit of your stomach as you addressed him.

“I’m sorry sir, the library closed several minutes ago. You’ll need to exit so that I can lock up.” 

“But I’m here to see you,” he said. He slowly started walking towards you and the thudding started up again. You looked down to see his heavy boots. You instinctively matched his movements, taking a step back for his every step forward. 

“Sir, you need to exit the library immediately.”

“I don’t think so. I finally got you all to myself.” His smile was blood-chilling.

You glanced to where your phone sat on the desk, deciding if you should try to grab it and run. 

“You won’t be able to make any calls to your boyfriends,” he said, following your gaze. “Captain America and the Winter Soldier won’t be able to save you.” 

He continued walking forward and you continued to back up until your back hit the wall. _Crap._ You had broken Nat’s #1 rule: never box yourself in. _At least he’s chatty. I can use that._ “How do you—” 

“HYDRA figured it was time to pay America’s Whore a visit.” _Under different circumstances,_ you thought wryly, _that nickname might be kinda funny._

“That’s enough,” you said. He was only a few steps away now. You noticed his eyes: steel gray and alight with the promise of violence. He didn’t even blink, he was so focused on his target. 

“You’re coming with me. And don’t bother screaming.” 

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” 

He was bloodthirsty. You could see it in the way his shoulders moved and his fingers twitched. “This is gonna be fun.” He took another step. 

“What do you want with me?” 

“Leverage. I’m going to take you apart piece by piece and send you to them. If they love you as much as I think they do, they’ll do what I say.”

You drew yourself up to your full height. “That’s not going to happen.” You were proud that your voice only shook a little. 

He lunged at you, but you were prepared. Your body reacted faster than your mind and you dodged, surprising him with your quick reflexes. You took advantage of his shock to elbow him in the chin. He cursed. You were able to get farther away from him, trying to remember your training and formulate a plan. You knew one thing: you would rather die than leave here with him. 

“As I said, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Maybe not conscious.” 

He stalked towards you slowly, lazily. He didn’t expect you to put up much of a fight. You frantically looked around for something you could use. You grabbed a chair from a nearby table and threw it at him. You hadn’t mustered up much force, so he easily caught it and hurled it back at you. You ducked and it shattered to pieces. You grabbed two of the newly-dislodged chair legs to use as an improvised weapon. They had broken off at an angle and were pretty sharp. You hoped you could do something with them. You turned to face your assailant holding your two wooden weapons.

He laughed at you as he reached into his coat and unsheathed a long blade. He went on the offensive, hacking viciously at you. You used the chair legs to deflect his blows. He came at you quickly from the side and sliced the outside of your right forearm. You didn’t have time to react to the pain because the sight of your blood sent him into a frenzy. He brought his blade down so hard that it became embedded in the chair leg, almost breaking the wood in half. Now that his blade was momentarily stuck, you were able to duck behind him and stick the other wooden stake in his back with as much force as you could muster. 

Of course he was wearing a bulletproof vest. You hadn’t even left a scratch. He turned around, grabbed you, and threw you into a bookcase. You slammed into it with a painful thud and rolled your left ankle as you fell to the ground. The force of the impact sent books raining down on you, but you put your hands over your head to protect yourself from the downfall. Your assailant moved towards you slowly, enjoying your pain. He was arrogant. You could use that. 

You knew you had to get up. You wouldn’t stand a chance if you didn’t. You tested your ankle. No good. So you stood lopsided. Hopping on your one good ankle, you tried your best to stand tall. Blood ran freely down your right arm and your ability to run, duck and dodge was severely limited. You had no idea when the boys were going to arrive, but you had to hold out until then. This man didn’t seem like the type you could reason with, but it was worth a shot.

“We’ve only been dating for a few months. I’m not the leverage you think I am.” 

He scoffed. “Do you know how I arranged this alone time for us? I put flowers in their path.”

“Huh?” Maybe you had a concussion because that last sentence didn't make any sense.

“When he has a girlfriend, the Winter Soldier stops to smell the roses. And buy the roses for the pretty girl. So when that pretty girl gets kidnapped, Captain America and the Winter Soldier will do anything HYDRA asks, including walk into a trap. We’re going to let them find what’s left of you and then kill them. You’ll be the last thing they see before they die.”

You hated that he was right. Hated that they would knowingly walk into a trap to get you back. They’d gladly die for you, but you were going to fight with everything you had to make sure that they didn’t have to. “No! I won’t let you.”

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up when he grinned. He grabbed you by the throat with both hands and picked you up, yelling terrible things that you would choose not to remember. While he screamed, you had one last trick up your sleeve. You had limited time remaining before you would be unconscious. Passing out was not an option. 

One benefit of the current situation was that his hands were occupied. He was so focused on cutting off the blood supply to your brain that he paid no mind to you putting your hands on his shoulders. You pretended to try to hoist yourself up and relieve the pressure. Now your hands were close to his neck. You punched him in the throat with your left hand as hard as you physically could and he gasped, dropping you instantly. You remembered at the last second not to land on your left leg, causing you to land on the ground in an ungraceful heap.

As he gasped and grabbed at his throat, you took some shaky breaths and tried to collect yourself. You grabbed one of the books strewn on the floor and threw it at him. It hit him in the side of the head. You kept scooting back and throwing books as hard as you could. You had hoped you were hurting him, but he seemed to be getting more and more agitated. He finally recovered enough to jump on top of you, pinning you down. He smelled like smoke. Not like campfire smoke, but chemical smoke. The acrid scent invaded all of your senses. You felt like throwing up. 

You used your good leg to kick him in the nuts and he winced in pain but stayed on top of you, lifting you up and then ramming your body into the floor in retaliation, screaming obscenities at you. You tried to kick him again but he pinned your legs down with his. His hands went to your throat again. You figured another throat punch might sort him out. He caught your hands this time and pinned your arms to your sides. 

He raised one hand to strike you. You knew that he was done playing games: this next blow was going to knock you out. Your right arm was now free, but it was throbbing. Adrenaline was leaving your body and you were starting to feel the pain. Your hand was laying in a pool of... _water? No, that’s right, blood._

You were left to watch as he got ready to deal a hit that would leave you unconscious. There was no telling when or where you’d wake up. Rather than shrink away, you faced him. As a child, you had always been the type to look when you were getting shots at the doctor’s office. This was the same way. You would face this pain and its source. 


	2. Don't You Remember?

You were steeling yourself for impact when you heard footsteps. He looked up and was punched so hard that he flew across the room. You heard a loud thud as his body hit the wall. Suddenly Steve and Bucky’s faces were in your field of vision. Their lips were moving but you couldn’t quite focus on what they were saying. You didn’t feel fully present. The edges of your vision started to go dark. 

“Amy! Baby! Can you hear me?” Steve’s voice sounded far away. 

Bucky placed his metal hand on your face. He finally got you to lock your eyes on his. His expression startled you: his eyes were wild with fear and worry. You had never seen him wear this expression before. Steve’s face mirrored Bucky’s. You looked down. Both of Steve’s hands were on your right forearm, applying pressure to your wound. Your blood ran through his fingers. 

They kept you laying down as they made some calls. Soon agents swarmed the library. You winced in pain as a medical team put you on a stretcher. They took you back to the Tower, where you were able to get medical attention. Your boys were by your side the whole time, even though you still didn’t speak. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. It was like you were trapped in your own head. 

The doctor stitched up your arm, wrapped your ankle, and treated some of the bruises that had started to appear around your body, like the one around your neck from the attempted strangulation. One by one, your senses sharpened back to their regular levels. You could feel the scratchy hospital gown fabric, smell the medicated cream they were putting on your bruises, and see how worried the boys were. You could also feel how tired you were and how everything in your body _ached_. You groaned a little. Bucky called your name. His voice was soft, worried. 

“Baby,” you replied. Your voice sounded weird to your ears. Bucky sat up like he had been zapped with electricity. Both he and Steve were surprised you had spoken. They had been sitting in chairs on either side of your bed, but now they were up out of their seats, getting as close to you as possible without actually climbing onto the bed with you. 

“Are you alright?” Steve asked. 

You tried to hold it in, but a short, harsh laugh slipped out. His question was absurd. Of course you weren’t alright. You settled on, “I’ve been better.” 

“Right. Of course. I’m sorry that I—”

“It’s okay,” you said. 

You weren’t sure why you had cut him off, but you were suddenly very uncomfortable. You didn’t feel like talking about any of this right now. You could see the burden this was taking on them. You could practically feel their need to confess their sins to you, sense their urge to verbally self-flagellate for failing to protect you. You weren't in the mood for a pity party, and you certainly weren’t in the mood to comfort them and tell them that everything was going to be OK. In fact, that’s what _you_ needed to hear. That’s what you needed them to say. But they didn’t say much at all. They were very quiet. 

Once you were all patched up, you were cleared to spend the night with the boys. Steve carried you gingerly up to his apartment, walking extremely slowly. He was treating you more gently than a newborn, but his slow, steady movements (rather than infantilizing) were very soothing. 

...

_You went to Steve’s and got ready for bed. The boys were being extra gentle with you, which made sense. But they were also being extra quiet. Almost distant._

_“Boys? What’s wrong?”_

_“We’re just worried, that’s all,” Steve said. “Let’s get you to bed.”_

_They both held you close. You tried to protest—you wanted to talk about that unsaid thing that you could feel between you—but they were soothing you and kissing you and cuddling you. You tried to shake the bad feeling. They were just worried, and rightfully so. But they would barely look you in the eyes. You wished they wouldn’t take this as a personal failure—it wasn’t their fault._

_In the morning, things weren’t any better. They would help you with whatever you needed—changing bandages, carrying you, getting you things—but they weren’t quite there with you. They were acting as caretakers and nothing more. If you asked for tea, Steve would dutifully make it and hand it to you, but he didn't wait to see you savor the first sip like he always did._

_You liked to breathe the tea in deeply before that perfect first sip. Whenever Steve made tea for you it was always the right temperature: it never burned, but it wasn’t too cold. He always added_ just _the right amount of honey. When he handed you your mug he always waited for you to taste the tea and describe it for what it was: “Perfect,” before walking away with a smirk. But not today. Today Steve set the tea in front of you before going back to his station in the kitchen, at attention, waiting for his next order._

_You didn’t want to be ungrateful. You wanted to let them process. You just wished you knew what they were thinking. They would occasionally murmur quietly to each other, no doubt about you. You knew they were best friends, going through something separate from you, but you had never felt like such a third wheel in your own relationship before._

_They caught you watching them and they both came over to you. Steve kissed your forehead as if he was trying to reassure you. You wanted to believe him, take that reassurance at face value, but you knew something was wrong._

_You put a hand on each of their faces, begging them to look at you. “What’s going on?”_

_Bucky shook his head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” He shot a glance at Steve, who looked conflicted._

_“Tell me the truth. Now.”_

_Bucky turned away. His lip trembled. He was barely holding it together. You stroked his face. “Bucky, what—“_

_He caught your hand and placed it in your lap. You were taken aback by the rejection, speechless as you watched him look away from you. He got up abruptly and started pacing. Steve was still kneeling in front of you. You looked at him for an explanation._

_“Amy…”_

_“Steve, you’re scaring me.”_

_“And yesterday scared us quite a bit,” he countered, his tone almost accusatory._

_“That’s not my fault, I—“_

_“It’s ours!” Bucky cried._

_“Stop feeling bad for yourselves. Bad things happen all the time, whether or not I’m dating you. You know all the crazy shit I’ve seen in that library?”_

_“Not HYDRA assassins hell-bent on torturing you for being our girlfriend,” Bucky said._

_“That’s the risk I took when I started dating y’all. And I mitigated that risk by training with Natasha. That training allowed me to walk away with only minor injuries. I’ll heal, keep training, and go on with my life. I love you guys, and I want you to feel your feelings, but for fucks sake stop feeling so bad for yourselves!”_

_“Amy, I’ve always said I didn’t know what I’d do if something happened to you—” Steve paused as his voice cracked and he struggled to keep it under control. “And something has happened to you. I do not intend on waiting for next time. Your little training sessions with Nat are not gonna cut it if they're already after you like this.”_

_“Okay, so what are you saying? You’re gonna lock me up in a tower?”_

_“What I’m saying is this relationship is putting your life in danger, and I—we—think that—”_

_You looked to Bucky, who still couldn’t look at you._

_“Bullshit!”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“Whatever you’re about to say is bullshit. The logic is flawed. Because I know that you’re not about to…”_

_“Amy, we can’t lose you”._

_“Then don’t.”_

_“We can’t ensure your safety. As long as we’re together, they’ll come after you.”_

_“Let them come! Once I’m healed, I’ll fight harder.”_

_Steve sighed. It was a huge sigh. The sigh of a man that was so tired. He put his head in his hands._

_“Bucky, please come here. Talk some sense into him.” You held out a hand to Bucky, who reluctantly made his way to you. You took his face in both hands and locked eyes with him. His eyes were full of tears and guilt. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. I’m fine.” You weren’t sure who you were trying to convince: them or yourself._

_“Next time, we might not get so lucky,” Bucky whispered. “I can’t take that chance.”_

_The final twist of the knife. He was your last hope. And he was done with you, too. It was suddenly becoming real. “No.” He couldn’t take it. He started sobbing, burying his head into your chest. “No!” you screamed and you felt the world shake around you as your relationship came crumbling down. “No,” you said, much quieter this time, almost a whisper._

_“I’m so sorry, baby,” Steve said, tears running down his cheeks now. You wanted to scream. You wanted to fight. Make them see that you could do it. You could be strong. You could survive anything HYDRA threw at you._

_That didn’t matter now. You saw the finality in their eyes. The captain had given his orders. They had to be obeyed. No matter the cost._

_Steve picked you up and the three of you went to the basement, got a car to your apartment. They settled you in your bed. Happy would bring your things tomorrow. You would have round-the-clock security, blah blah blah. Their words were working you up. They were trying to be business-like through their grief and it pissed you off._

_“And the Avengers are still your family._ We _are still your family. We love you so much. We just can’t put your life in danger anymore.”_

_“How dare you?” you whispered. You mustered as much venom in your voice as you could for the two people you loved the most. They both looked at you in shock. “How dare you make me fall in love with you? How dare you promise me forever? How dare you make me feel so much less alone in the world, just to take it all away on a whim?” You were trembling violently as you shouted the last “How dare you?!”_

_They were quiet for a few moments. They knelt by your bedside. You saw them gearing themselves up for passionate speeches that would no doubt be tragically romantic and leave you all in tears. You didn’t want to hear it._

_“Get out,” you snarled at them. “You want to leave me? You don’t get a big speech. You can get out.” You didn’t look at them as you pointed at the door._

_Out of your periphery, you saw Steve digging in his pocket. He pulled out something that looked like a key fob. “It’s a panic button,” he explained. “Press it if you’re in danger, or if you need anything, and we’ll be there.”_

_They both got up to leave and they were at the door when you pressed it. Immediately their phones pinged. You finally looked at them, tears welling in your eyes. They wanted to go to you, but you knew Steve had told you his first and last lie: they could not be there for you, not anymore. They left. You heard them shutting your apartment door. You heard the car out front pulling away._

_And you lost it. Body wracked with sobs, chest heaving, nose running. Ugly crying. Crying for all the love you had just lost. Grieving for the future you saw with them. Crying out in hopes that they would hear you, change their minds, and come back to you. You were hurting so badly that there was no way they couldn't feel it too. Couldn’t feel your heartbreak reverberating through the city._

_When you were this upset, there were two people in this world that you wanted to comfort you, and they were both gone. You were alone._

And then you felt them. You felt Steve’s hands on your back. You felt Bucky’s hands on your face. You wondered if you were imagining them. 

“Amy, wake up.” 

“Wake up, baby” 


	3. Strangers Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from the song Strange by Celeste

“Amy, wake up.” 

“Wake up, baby” 

“Open your eyes.” 

You blinked and you were in the dark. Your eyes adjusted. You were back in Steve’s room. You were in bed between your boyfriends. 

“Boys?” your voice hurt from crying. You hated how it trembled. 

“What’s wrong? Is your ankle hurting? Your arm?” Bucky asked. 

“What’s _wrong?!_ How could you do that to me?” you whimpered. 

“What?” 

“You can’t act like you care about me now. It’s cruel.” 

“Baby, we always care about you—” 

“Then why did you leave?” 

You could tell your boys were bewildered. It’s like they didn’t remember dumping you.

“Amy, we never left,” 

“You broke up with me this morning, so I beg to differ.” 

Bucky exhaled. “I think you were having a nightmare,” 

“I—what?” 

“We did not break up with you this morning. You got attacked yesterday at work. We brought you back here to get medical attention, and then you fell asleep in Steve’s arms on the way up to his apartment.” 

“Oh…” You flopped back against the pillows. Bad idea. You groaned at your bruises. 

“Alright, easy,” Steve said, cuddling you close. 

“I’m not a baby!” you protested. 

Your boys laughed softly. 

“We love you and you’re hurting. Let me baby you just a lil,” Steve pinching his fingers to show just how little. 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Tell us about your dream,” Bucky said. 

“Well, you guys were worried because you felt like you had failed. You wanted to break up with me to protect me. Fucking bullshit, right? Nightmare Steve and Bucky are assholes.” 

“I’m sure they were just trying to do what they thought was best,” Steve said. 

You didn’t like his tone. At all. You hoped you didn’t know where this was going. 

“Don’t tell me…” 

“No! I mean, we should talk about it—” 

“Oh my God. I can’t do this with y’all again. We are not breaking up over this!”

“Me and Buck did talk about the possibility that—” 

“That what? That you are—” 

“Hold on, sweetheart.” Steve tried to calm you down. Big mistake. You were still disoriented and emotional and pissed off. 

“ _Hold on?!_ No. You hold on. I—” 

“Baby, please let him finish,” Bucky implored you. 

“Fine,” you said through gritted teeth. 

“We love you. Which is why we want you to be safe. And alive. And if this relationship is compromising your safety, then…”

“Then what?” 

“We never wanted this for you. We’re not breaking up with you, but if you don’t want to be with us anymore then we understand.” 

“‘Course I wanna be with you.” 

Bucky kissed the top of your head. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so scared.” You took his hand in yours and squeezed it. It wasn’t long before you fell back to sleep, this time with no dreams. 

...

In the morning, you realized how much of an issue mobility would be. Ideally, you would have crutches for your sprained ankle, but you weren’t supposed to be using your right arm. Not having use of both arms also ruled out a wheelchair. You might’ve tried hopping on one foot to get everywhere you needed to go, but your body was still pretty beat up. The boys were content to carry you everywhere, but you weren’t sure how that was going to continue when you went to work on Monday. 

“Work? You can’t go to work!” Steve said. 

“Why not?”

“Well, we need to wait until you’re fully healed and we have a better safety plan in place. Then if you still want to go back to work—”

“What do you mean ‘still want to’?”

“If you don’t want to go back to work, you don’t have to.” 

“And how will I pay my rent? Eat?”

“We’ll take care of that, obviously.” 

“Thanks, but I like my job. I’ll call my boss and see about taking a few days off. Wait. Is the library still—” 

“Everything was cleaned up and put back in its place. No one will know anything happened there.”

“Good,” you said. “Liv!” you remembered suddenly. “I didn’t come home last night! I’m sure she’s worried sick!”

“We called her,” Steve said. 

“What’d you say?” 

“We weren’t sure what you’d want to tell her, so we just texted her that you spent the night with us.” 

You relaxed a little. “Okay. I’ll see how much time I can get off work and we’ll just take it one day at a time.” 

“We’ll have a better idea of new safety protocols after the briefing this afternoon,” Bucky said. 

“Briefing?”

“We need to meet with our security team to figure out how this happened and keep it from happening again. We’ll review the security footage and hear your version of events while everything is still fresh in your mind,” he explained.

“Okay.” You took a deep breath. “If we have to.”

Steve put an arm around you. “We’ll be right there with you.”

And they were. When you entered the briefing room, the only familiar face was Nat. You were introduced to a man named Nick Fury and a woman named Maria Hill. There were a few more important-looking people in the room, but they didn’t bother with introductions. You sat down at a sleek wooden table. Steve sat on your left and propped your ankle up on his lap to keep it elevated. Bucky sat on your right and rested his left hand on your knee. 

“We are here to discuss Incident 39740-J involving civilian Amy Rebecca Carlisle and a HYDRA operative identified as Jack Rollins. Rollins is a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. The incident occurred yesterday at 6:02 pm. If you will direct your attention to the screen, we will now watch the footage,” Fury described clinically. 

Suddenly you were watching the events of yesterday on a big screen. First you saw footage of him getting out of a car and walking into the library. Then he walked up to the reference desk and started talking to you. Your body language said it all: you were uncomfortable. 

“Pause,” one of the suits said. Fury paused the video. “Ms. Carlisle, you are clearly uncomfortable here. Why didn’t you notify your agent of a potential threat?” 

You felt like you were on trial. Bucky squeezed your knee supportively. “Um, I don’t know. Lots of patrons creep me out. That doesn’t mean they’re HYDRA!” 

“Lesson #1: You can never be too paranoid,” Fury said, resuming the video. 

The video fast-forwarded to several hours later. You saw on the tape that Shay had barely checked two rows of her section before getting distracted by her phone. _He_ was hiding behind one of the bookcases, ready to strike, when she got a text. In this case, Shay’s unprofessionalism was a blessing. It was disturbing to think she could’ve been hurt just because she happened to be closing with you yesterday. And what if you had been closing with someone more thorough? You couldn't stand it if _anyone_ died because of you, but if it had been Camilla or Brandon? Maybe you could kind of understand how the boys could consider withdrawing to keep you safe. 

You watched your conversation with Shay and then saw her leaving. You saw yourself smiling down at your phone. You looked up when you heard _him_ walking behind the bookshelf and put your phone down on the desk. It took all your courage to watch the tape without looking away. You knew you had lived through it, but that didn’t keep you from flinching when _he_ threw the chair at you. The boys’ jaws were set as they tried not to show any emotion, but their tight grips on you gave them away. Not tight enough to hurt, but extremely secure, as if they were trying to make sure you didn’t slip away.

When it got to the point where you tried to stab him with the chair leg, you heard Nat mutter “Vest,” under her breath. You could tell she had to stop herself from playing it back like gameday tape and correcting your form. Maybe she would do just that whenever you got back to training. Now that you had some real-world experience, you knew you needed a lot more training to truly be ready for stuff like this. 

Both boys winced when you were thrown into the bookcase. When you stood up, hobbling on one leg, ready to face this bastard even though you would probably lose, Bucky looked at you as if he was just realizing something for the first time. He looked between you and Steve, eyes watering, before shaking his head and turning back to the footage. 

When you punched your attacker in the throat, Nat whispered “Nice,” and it made you feel good to be making her proud. You had come a long way since you had started training with her in the summer. At the end, when _he_ told you about the flower cart, Bucky tensed the most. When _he_ hit the wall after Bucky’s punch and fell to the ground, you saw the huge dent left behind due to the force of impact. Watching the video had brought up a lot of emotions that you needed to process, but the meeting went on as if you were having a presentation on the weather forecast. 

“Barnes and Rogers were scheduled to meet Carlise at 6:00 pm but stopped to buy flowers from this woman, Helga Zielinski.” The screen now showed surveillance footage of the boys at the flower cart, side by side with pictures of the woman and lots of biographical information. “Polish immigrant, clean background check, no apparent HYDRA connections. She normally sells flowers on the next street over, but her usual sidewalk was closed for maintenance yesterday. After questioning, she maintains that she was told by a city official where to set up temporarily while the road work was being completed. Of course, the city did not schedule this maintenance. Now, on to the assailant.” Pictures and files of _him_ appeared on the screen. “Our intelligence shows that Rollins has been working with HYDRA since 2009. He formerly served S.H.I.E.L.D. Special Ops as a HYDRA double agent. As one of the HYDRA members not affected by the snap, he has risen in power within the organization.” 

The discussion continued, with questions coming from the scary-looking business people and Fury answering them. There were questions about your security clearance and how much privileged information you had access to—boring stuff you weren’t sure was relevant to you until Natasha interrupted. 

“I want to be clear that under no circumstance would abandoning or terminating Amy be an option.” 

One of the men spluttered, “We are just trying to understand the risks she could expose us to. She spends a lot of time in the Tower, correct? A lot of time with the Avengers? We need to know what she knows.” He looked at you pointedly. “That will impact our response to future incidents.” 

Everyone in the room had their eyes on you now. You told them the truth. “I don’t know anything.” The boys never talked to you about work stuff. You never knew what they did on their missions. Frankly, you were a little afraid to ask. 

“Her safety and well-being are our top priority. Got it?” Steve said, daring anyone to challenge him. No one did. “So let’s talk about that. Making sure this _doesn’t_ happen again.” 

They talked about enhanced security measures, the boys and Nat vetoing or requesting certain things. You could hardly keep up with all the jargon and codenames and acronyms they were throwing around. 

“We need to get her a better agent,” Steve said. 

“We can’t waste our best agents on babysitting a civilian,” one woman scoffed. She was severe-looking, with a slicked-back bun and arched eyebrows that emphasized her haughty demeanor. Her long, thin fingers rested interlaced on the table. All of her fellow suits were nodding along in agreement.

“ _Waste?_ ” Bucky leaned forward menacingly. Everyone cowered. 

“If you want us to continue doing our job, then she’ll have the best agent available,” Steve ordered. 

Fury looked at Maria as if he was hoping she could talk some sense into them, but she just shrugged. 

Fury looked to Nat for help next, but he was turned down. “I’m with them,” she said, nodding at Steve and Bucky. 

He looked to you as a last resort, but you remained silent. This conversation was more than a little overwhelming. Fury now addressed the entire room: 

“HYDRA, like all other organizations, is still getting back on its feet after the instability created by the snap. They’ve gotten sloppy and arrogant. They’re weak. Maybe now we can get rid of them for good.” Fury looked at Steve and Bucky. “Defeating HYDRA is the only way to ensure her safety.” 

When the meeting ended, all of the suits wanted to talk to the three of you, shake hands, and schmooze. You just wanted to take a nap. And then try to process the events of the past 24 hours. The boys sent everyone scurrying with a scowl and the three of you were getting ready to leave when Fury spoke up. 

“I need to speak with Ms. Carlisle. Alone.”

The boys put up a fuss but eventually relented when they learned that Nat would be staying. Nat promised to take you back to Steve’s and they reluctantly left. 

“Natasha tells me you’ve been taking quickly to your training.” He said it like an accusation, but you decided to ignore his tone. 

“Yes. She’s an excellent teacher.” You smiled at her. 

“Did you know that the Hansen Family Farm keeps a camera in its haunted maze? They record footage to train new hires. We obtained a copy from your October trip with Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes. Shall we take a look?” Before you could answer, grainy surveillance footage of that night in the haunted maze was playing on the screen. You watched as you jumped at all the scares while Bucky sat there laughing. _Asshole_. You almost smiled at the memory before you remembered where you were. “You were terrified here,” Fury said. 

“When I want to scream my head off, a creepy scarecrow in a dark maze always does the trick.”

“And HYDRA assassins don’t?”

“Pardon?”

“Determination. Ferocity. Calculation. I see all that from you in the tape. But not fear. How is this—” he pointed to the screen where you were screaming in the maze, “and this—” he cut to you in the library facing your attacker, your face a picture of defiance despite the dire circumstances, “the same girl? Were you not afraid?” 

“Of course I was afraid. But screaming and jumping into my boyfriends’ arms was not an option. Freaking out is a luxury. One that I couldn’t afford yesterday. What should I have done? Let him kidnap me? Kill me? Get the boys killed?” 

“I was just hoping that you could help me understand how a girl who can’t watch scary movies by herself was able to face Jack Rollins with the composure of a seasoned agent.”

“I don’t...I don’t know, I—” 

“The background check that we ran when your relationship started came back clean. Perhaps a little too clean. Not so much as a parking ticket.” 

“Yeah, well I hate driving, so…” 

“Is there anything that you would like to share with me?” 

“No? Where are you going with this?” 

“Are you working with HYDRA?”

“No! What the hell?!”

He raised his hands, shrugging. “I had to ask.” He looked at Nat. She nodded. “I hope that you can understand that I’m just doing my job.” He walked towards the door. “Get well soon,” he said before he left. 

You looked at Nat. “What the fuck?! Does he think I’m some sort of...bad guy?!” 

“He’s just paranoid. But don’t worry, you passed.”

“Passed what? Was that a test?!”

She shifted uncomfortably. “My inspection.”

“Your _what_?”

“He asked me to evaluate your answer, see if you were telling the truth. And you were. Your background check was clean, as he said, but he wanted me to feel you out.”

“Is that why you agreed to train me? To ‘feel me out’?”

“I met a girl that seemed really sweet and I wanted to make sure she was fully aware of the risks of dating my friends. You surprised me by asking for training, but I respected your determination. A bonus of training you was that I got to know the girl that my friends were so in love with. I got to see that you really are as great as Steve and Bucky say you are. I know you’re not a ‘bad guy’, but Fury doesn’t trust anyone.” 

Nat’s words were sweet, but you still felt like you had been tricked into an interrogation. You just nodded. You didn’t trust your voice. You felt a little betrayed. You just needed some cuddle time with your boyfriends and maybe a phone call with Liv. Then you’d feel a lot more centered. 

Nat got you a knee scooter so that you could move yourself around. It seemed like the perfect solution to your mobility issue, but with all your bruises it hurt to operate. You used your best poker face to make it to Steve’s floor without wincing. As soon as you got off the elevator, Steve’s door was open and he was picking you up and placing you on the couch. Nat said goodbye and left. 

“What did Fury want?” Bucky asked as soon as you were settled.

“Oh, nothing,” you feigned casual. “He just accused me of being a HYDRA agent.”

“He _WHAT_?!”

“I have HAD IT with him!” 

You knew they wouldn’t like it, but you hadn’t predicted the strength of their reactions. You tried to spare Fury from some of their wrath. “He’s just trying to protect my boys—”

“Protect his assets, more like,” Bucky grumbled.

“He and Nat were just trying to—”

“Nat was _in on this?!_ ” Steve asked. 

“Both of them are going to get a piece of our minds. I cannot believe they did that. I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Bucky asked. 

“I’m fine. I just don’t appreciate being treated like the enemy, especially when—” You cursed your voice for breaking. Your concerned boyfriends stopped pacing and sat down with you on the couch. 

“I hate this,” Steve said. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you out of my sight again,” Bucky said. 

“I know that we brought this up last night, but we should probably at least talk about all of our options, including…” Steve trailed off. 

“Ending the relationship?” 

He wouldn’t look at you. You had survived an interrogation with Black Widow and Nick Fury only to walk into an ambush.

“Why is that your go-to solution? Is that what you want?”

“What I want doesn’t matter. I _need_ you alive,” Steve whispered. 

“Alive and as far away from you as possible?”

Steve said your name in a pained voice. 

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” you asked.

“We’re not pushing you away, but you have to understand,” Bucky said. “Watching that footage…We got to talking and we really think you should consider this. We’re no good for you.” 

They’d been having conversations about the future of the relationship without you. To them, “we” didn’t always include you, and that hurt.

“It sounds like you’ve already decided to break up with me, but you want me to do it for you.”

“No. We just want to make sure that you’ve actually thought things through,” Steve said.

“What is there to think about?”

“How about the fact that you easily could have died yesterday?!” Bucky cried. 

“Maybe. But I didn’t!” 

“What about next time?” Steve asked. 

“We’ll try to decrease the possibility that there’s a next time, and I’ll keep training, and—” 

“It’s still a huge risk,” Bucky said. “One that I’m not sure…” _One that he’s not sure he’s willing to take. Got it._

“Your biggest fear is HYDRA taking me from you. I survived and you’re still letting them take me from you.”

“It would devastate us if we broke up, but it would _destroy_ us if anything happened to you. We will do our best to protect you, but you should really take some time to think things through,” Steve said. 

“I see,” you said. _They think that if I take some time to think about it, I’ll come to the “right” conclusion: ending things._ _They don’t even want to try to make this work._ You asked politely through gritted teeth if someone could retrieve your scooter from the hallway. 

“Where do you need to go? We can take you,” Steve said. 

“Can you? Because you’ve made it seem like I’m on my own from now on.”

“You are not alone,” Bucky said. “We love you.” 

You scoffed at that. You certainly weren’t feeling the love. You got out your phone and texted for someone to come and get you. You knew you were on the verge of saying something you might regret; giving them what they wanted and pushing them away for good.

“Come on, let’s talk about this,” Steve said. You put your phone down. The two of them had already come to a decision, and now they just needed it to look like it was mutual. You weren’t going to fall for it. 

“I have nothing to say to y’all right now.” 

There were too many emotions swirling around, and they were only amplified by the trauma you had experienced and the physical pain you felt. In the library, you were just trying to hold on long enough for your boys to show up, and they did. You didn't think it was possible, but you felt more alone now than you did in the library with that terrible man. 

If they would just back off for a second; let you think, process, calm down. The rational part of you, the one that was sure of their love, sure of your ability to face this as a team, was no longer running the show. Your emotions were in charge now, and it was all grief and rage and hopelessness. You could feel yourself losing control, and you fought to keep it until you could leave. You wished you could storm out.

“Don’t shut down on us,” Bucky pleaded. 

“Don’t tell me what to do. If you want to get rid of me, you have no right to tell me how to feel or how to react.” 

“We are not trying to get rid of you. You have to understand—”

“No. Fuck you guys. I don’t have to understand a damn thing. You know what I _do_ understand? I understand that you failed to keep me physically safe. And then you failed to comfort me and make me feel emotionally safe. You want me to admit that I have doubts? That I’m scared? Fine! I’m fucking _terrified!_ And all you are doing is pushing me away when I need you the most. So fuck you. Both of you. “ 

They both recoiled as if you had hit them. You weren’t proud of your outburst, but you felt pushed to the limit. They had you backed up against a wall and you struck. There was a knock on the door. _That must be my ride._ The boys didn’t move. Knocking again, more insistent this time. 

Thor’s voice came through the door. “Hello? Amy? Is everything alright?”

Steve answered the door. “Now’s not a good time,” he said in a tight voice. 

“The lady has requested my assistance.” Thor walked into the apartment without invitation and went straight to you, kneeling so that he was at eye level with you. Steve and Bucky were watching his every move. 

“Can you help me get out of here?” you whispered.

He glanced at the boys before nodding at you. “Of course.” When he moved to pick you up, Bucky’s metal hand gripped his shoulder, preventing him from touching you. You could hear Bucky’s arm whirring, gearing up to throw Thor through a wall. Steve also looked ready for a fight. 

“I’m going to go ‘think this through’, if that’s okay with y’all,” you said in an icy tone. 

Both boys wordlessly backed off and Thor was able to scoop you up and carry you outside. When the door closed behind you, it felt like an ending. _Maybe I shouldn’t have left._ They just made you so mad! And this is what they wanted, wasn’t it? For you to leave? 

“Is everything...alright?” Thor asked hesitantly. 

No, it wasn’t. You were tired, your body hurt, and the two people who you thought would be by your side, loving you for the rest of your life were done with you. You sobbed into Thor’s shoulder, finally letting go. Surrendering to your emotions and allowing them to overwhelm you. There was a lot there, more than you realized, and you wouldn’t be coherent for a long while. 

Thor began swaying jerkily from side to side and patting your back, whispering, “There, there,” over and over again. You realized that he was trying to rock you and you laughed until you started crying again. The poor guy looked so overwhelmed.

“Perhaps we can visit with Natasha? Hm?” 

You didn’t respond, but he must have taken it as a yes because a few minutes later he was knocking at Nat’s apartment door. She seemed surprised to see you in such a state. Several minutes passed before you were calm enough to gasp out a few words between sobs. You cuddled into Thor like a child and Nat brought you a glass of water. 

“Steven and James have made you this upset? That is not right! I will have words with them.”

“Maybe you should sit this one out. Right, Amy?” Nat said, looking at you to talk Thor down. You knew she was probably right, but you wanted Thor to go upstairs and yell at them on your behalf. Show them how wrong they were. 

“Amy? What do you think?” Thor asked.

You tried to be diplomatic in your answer. “In general, I think that if you see your friend doing something wrong, you should speak up.” 

Nat sighed exasperatedly as Thor set you down gently on the couch. 

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked you, voice heavy with concern. You nodded. He immediately left, stalking out of the room with a purpose. You hoped you weren’t igniting World War III in this tower. 

Nat spoke into her phone. “Sam. Tony. Get to Steve’s. _Now_.” 

…

Thor bounded up the stairs and back to Steve’s. He could hear yelling through the door. 

“BECAUSE WE DON’T GET TO BE HAPPY, STEVE! WE DON’T GET TO HAVE HOLIDAYS! WE’RE NOT GONNA EAT THAT DISGUSTING PUMPKIN APPLE PIE NEXT THANKSGIVING. DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?” 

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?! YOU DON’T—” 

Thor considered pounding on the door but instead wrenched it open. Bucky and Steve were mid-argument, tears in their eyes. 

“Get out!” Bucky roared. 

“I will not. I am here to tell you that what you are doing to Amy is not right.”

“That’s not any of your business,” Steve said. 

“Of course it’s my business. Amy is my friend.” 

“Well, she’s _our_ girlfriend—”

“Is she?”

Bucky walked towards him but Steve stopped him with a hand to his chest. 

“I’m warning you,” Steve said to Thor in a low voice. 

“What are you going to do, Steven? Are you going to hit me because I’m telling you that you’re treating Amy poorly?”

“We are not treating her poorly. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know that she won’t stop crying. I know that she had to call for my help because she didn’t feel comfortable around you anymore. That is cause for great concern.” 

“We don’t need your concern,” Steve said. “We also didn’t need you coming in here and taking her away while we were trying to talk to her.”

“Perhaps you do not need me. But she did.” 

Steve’s hand dropped from Bucky’s chest. He was clenching and unclenching his fists. 

“Hitting me won’t change anything,” Thor said. 

“We’ll see about that,” Steve said. He was about to start walking towards Thor when Tony and Sam showed up, breathless from running. 

“One Civil War wasn’t enough for you, Rogers?” Tony asked. 

Steve wouldn’t take his eyes off Thor. “Apparently not,” he said, voice dripping with venom. 

“Steve! Bucky! Calm down,” Sam said. 

Steve and Bucky paid him no mind, spending all of their energy glaring at Thor. 

“What’s going on here, fellas?” Tony asked, looking between his three teammates. 

“They have upset her. I have never seen anyone cry that hard,” Thor said, getting a little choked up. 

Sam and Tony now looked to Bucky and Steve, who were avoiding their gaze. 

“Who’s he talking about?” Sam asked, at the same time Tony asked, “Where’s Amy?”

Bucky closed his eyes, sighing. Steve reluctantly met Tony’s gaze. 

“We had a bit of a…disagreement.” 

“Disagreement?!” Thor said. “You threatened to abandon her!”

“Steve, Bucky: is that true?” Sam asked. 

“You weren’t here! That’s not how it went!” Steve cried.

“How did it go, then?” Tony asked. 

“We’re not the bad guys here,” Steve said, trying to convince himself as much as anyone else. 

“Yes, you are. I would never do that to Jane.” 

“Then why did she leave you?” Steve asked.

Thor’s body crackled with lightning. “Choose your next words with great care,” he warned menacingly. The lights flickered with the surge of electricity. 

“Having your teammates talk about your personal relationship doesn’t feel very good, does it?” Bucky asked. 

“Our situations are different. I’m fairly certain that I did not abandon my relationship with Jane due to my personal failure to keep her safe.” 

Steve and Bucky rushed forward and Thor’s thunder and lightning crackled louder, the lights blinking on and off rapidly. 

“Alright, boys. Party’s over.” Carol’s voice came from the doorway. Everyone stopped and looked at her. She shrugged. “Thought you might need my help.” 

“I think we’ve got this handled,” Tony said. 

Carol looked pointedly at the scene in front of her, where three of the Avengers were ready to tear each other apart. “You do?” She stepped in front of Thor, putting a hand to his chest. “Hey, let’s take a walk, okay?” 

Once Carol and Thor had left, Bucky took a seat on the couch while Steve started pacing. Tony and Sam were looking at each other, quietly squabbling over which of them would speak first. Emotions were running high, and Sam and Tony knew that they had to tread carefully. 

…

Meanwhile, downstairs, Nat didn’t take the flickering lights as a good sign. 

“Did you have to sic Thor on them? Why did you even call him in the first place? I would’ve helped you.” 

“Yes, well, I was feeling a little...I get that Fury’s paranoid, but...I just wish that…” You weren’t in the mood to start any arguments by telling Nat that you were upset about the interrogation. You really didn’t want to have to leave her apartment, and you were running out of Avengers to come bail you out. 

“I never should have let Fury question you about being HYDRA,” she said. She didn’t say it like an apology or a realization: she said it as if it were fact. “He’s been suspicious of you ever since they ditched a mission to take care of you. I thought that a few minutes of questioning would end his suspicions once and for all. I wasn’t thinking about how blindsided you must have felt, especially so soon after a run-in with HYDRA. That must have added insult to injury.” 

“It doesn’t even make sense! Why would HYDRA beat up and kidnap their own people?” 

“It’s possible that it was staged. HYDRA could have planted you in their lives so that they’d fall in love with you, with the plan of eventually kidnapping you. The fighting could’ve just been to make it look real. I know that you didn’t do that, but in our line of work, it’s a possibility. ” 

“That’s diabolical.”

“When you’ve seen the things Fury has, you can never be too careful.” 

It was a scary world out there. You were getting a peek at just how scary and dark and vicious the world could be. _Are Steve and Bucky right about this? Am I cut out to live in this world of secret agents and violent kidnappings? Will I ever be truly safe?_

_Would I feel safer without them in my life?_

_No._

_If we break up, I’ll still be looking over my shoulder for...probably ever. And the thought of them not being there by my side…_

The thought brought about a fresh round of tears. You were surprised when there was a knock at the door. _Maybe it’s them. Maybe they’re here to apologize._ You knew you’d probably forgive them immediately. Nat opened the door. 

It was Liv and Kiara. Of course you were happy to see your closest friends in a moment like this, but you felt an extra pang of sadness that it wasn’t the boys. _Maybe it’s really over. Maybe I’m really on my own._ It was a crushing thought. You clung to Liv and Kiara as you cried. 

They held you until you were calm enough to tell them everything. You told them about the attack, your nightmare, the briefing, and the fight. 

“I’m going to kick their asses,” Kiara said. “The second that you’re okay, I’m marching up there and they’re done for. Their confrontation with Thor will look like a light-hearted chat in comparison.” 

“I’ll be your backup,” Liv said. You looked at your normally non-confrontational friend in shock. “I don’t know that this relationship is the best thing for you anymore. It’s bad enough that you got attacked, but then they tried to end the relationship because of their guilt? Not cool.” 

“They’re dead,” Kiara muttered. 

“You can kill them later,” you said. “Right now, I need you here with me.” 

Your friends stayed by your side. You talked a little bit about your relationship, but it only made you sad. You felt rejected and discarded and that wasn’t going to change unless Steve and Bucky miraculously changed their minds. You wanted to talk to them but needed them to be the ones to come to you. You began to worry that they’d never come. 

Liv put Great British Bake Off on Nat’s TV and you all watched it together. You cuddled with Liho on the couch and tried to get lost in the scenic meadow and delightful culinary creations of the soothing baking competition. You started to doze off. 

…

Upstairs, Carol was headed back to Steve’s to check on Bucky. She had calmed Thor down and gotten a lot more information on the situation from him. Now she wanted to check on Bucky. She knew how much your relationship meant to him. When she got back to Steve’s, there was a tense silence in the room. When she asked Bucky to go across the hall with her, he nodded wordlessly and shuffled out the door and into his apartment. He shut the door behind Carol. 

“I don’t know what you heard…” 

“Thor filled me in.” 

“I would never abandon her,” he said softly. He needed her to know that. 

“I know,” she said. 

“I love her.” 

“I know.”

“I never should’ve…”

“You never should’ve what?” 

“FALLEN IN LOVE!” he cried in agony. 

She didn’t even flinch from his outburst. “Why?” 

“Do you think the Winter Soldier gets to live happily ever after?” 

“I don’t know. But Bucky Barnes does.” 

He chuckled mirthlessly. “It was stupid of me to think that I would get to have this. A family. A life.” 

“You _do_ get to have it.” 

“You don’t understand. I actually let myself envision what the rest of our lives would be like. You saw the Tunnel of Love. And Thanksgiving only made things worse. It made me envision all the holidays we would spend together, including the future ones where we all have bands on our ring fingers, and the holidays where Amy’s pregnant, and then the holidays when we have little ones running around. I let myself want that, imagine it, dream about it. I was looking at baby pictures of her, imagining what our baby would look like. She was such a cute baby. And her family is so nice. It had been so long since I had been around a family. And we promised them that we’d take care of their girl and we didn’t do that. I never should’ve allowed this to happen. It just felt so good, you know?” 

“I know that having a family in this line of work is scary, but if Maria and I could raise a daughter while I was fighting space battles with aliens, then you and Steve and Amy can have a happy life together. Just like Amy, Maria doesn’t have any superpowers. But she’s a badass, just like Amy. And we raised a badass daughter. You can still have a family with Steve and Amy.” 

“I can’t put her in danger anymore.” 

“If you break up, you’ll still have to protect her. Possibly for the rest of your life. Why not be together?” 

“If I wasn’t so blinded by love, I wouldn’t have buried my head in the sand about what could happen to her. Being with her and Steve makes me feel so relaxed. I let my guard down around them. I’m not as sharp.” 

“So you plan on being unhappy for the rest of your life so you can stay sharp?” 

“I’ll do whatever it takes.” 

Carol was quiet for a moment. “How does your relationship strengthen you?”

“What?” 

“You talk about ways it makes you ‘weaker’...are there ways it strengthens you?” 

Bucky, surprised at her question, thought about it for a minute. “Loving and being loved by them makes me feel more worthy of love. I feel inspired. Like anything is possible. I feel like my past doesn’t define me. My present and my future define me, and they look bright. The world feels open. I feel free.” 

“And you would give that up because of a little fear?” 

Across the hall, Steve had finally started talking: 

“How can I look her or her family in the eye ever again? I stood there in her home and promised her parents that I would take good care of her. I told her that she didn’t have to worry about anything. I told her I would keep her safe. And I failed.” 

“She doesn’t blame you for that,” Sam said. 

“She should. I blame myself. I was selfish. I don’t want to hurt her more than I already have, but I can’t have her risking her life to be with us. I—” A choked sob overwhelmed his sentence but he pushed it down, desperate to get the words out, to make his confession. “I never should’ve dragged her into this life.” 

“You didn’t drag her into it. She chose to be with you. She wants to be with you, despite the risks,” Sam said. 

“Did you know that she always does a little dance whenever music plays? Always. Doesn’t matter if she’s cooking breakfast or out shopping for clothes or in line at the post office—she can’t help but sway side to side or wiggle her hips. Tell me how—” He had to pause to collect himself. “Tell me how someone as gentle as that deserves what happened to her yesterday. And then tell me that what happened yesterday is not a _direct result_ of her dating us. Tell me that I won’t be the most selfish man in the world if I hold on to the best thing that ever happened to me. ” 

“Steve…” Sam said helplessly. All he could do was walk over to his friend and pull him into a tight hug. Steve sank into his arms and cried into his shoulder. “You all love each other so much. There _has_ to be a way. You three are so perfect together...it just wouldn’t be right for you to...not be together…” He looked at Tony for help. 

“Listen, Steve. I’ve been there, okay? Pepper was kidnapped by terrorists and injected with an experimental serum that blows people up. _I_ put her in harm’s way. _I_ left her vulnerable to attack. _I_ left her alone to go underground and search for someone’s ass to kick. Of course I blame myself! She wouldn’t have been in that situation if I hadn’t loved her and kept her close to me. But here’s the important thing: with love like me and Pepper, or you and Bucky and Amy—you will _always_ be stronger together.” 

Carol, Sam, and Tony left so that Steve and Bucky could have the chance to think. Steve and Bucky met in the hallway, each on the way to knock on the other’s door. 

“I think—” 

“I think—Sorry, go ahead.” 

“No, you go ahead.”

“I—I think that we can—there’s a way that we can—we don’t have to lose everything,” Steve said, chewing his lip nervously as he awaited Bucky’s response. He was rewarded with a small smile. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sure the pie will be delicious.” 

Steve laughed softly. “I’m sorry, too.” 

“Let’s go get our girl.” 


	4. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

You woke up to the sound of knocking on the door. You sat up on Nat’s couch, groggy and disoriented. Nat answered the door but didn’t open it all the way. Kiara walked up and started yelling at whoever was on the other side of the door. _Who is she so mad at? Why are Liv and Kiara in Nat’s apartment? Why am_ I _in Nat’s apartment? Am I still dreaming?_ Liv dragged Kiara away from the door and you saw Steve and Bucky standing there. You smiled at them and then it hit you. You remembered what you were doing here and why Kiara was yelling. You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. Nat backed the boys into the hallway and partially closed the door so that you couldn’t see them. You could still hear them, though. 

“Nat, please,” you heard Steve say. “We need to talk to her.”

“Only if she wants to, and I’m not sure that she should.”

“Nat, it’s us. You should understand our security concerns better than anyone.”

“I do. Which is why I know that those concerns did not need to be addressed today when she is at her most vulnerable. You’re making the three of you miserable for nothing. She’ll need advanced security protocols for a while even if you do break up. They’ve already tried kidnapping her. She can’t become a bigger target than that. If you keep dating—” 

“Then they’ll keep trying.”

“Let them try. Her security is going to be so tight after this that Morgan’s security protocols will look lax.” 

“We just wanted her to know that she has options that don’t involve her spending the rest of her life as a target.” 

“I’ll go see what she says.”

She walked in and looked at you. “So?” she asked. 

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I’m tired. I don’t want to go back to Steve’s just to have to storm out again 5 minutes later. I’m sure they just want to dump me in private.” 

The boys came into the room. “We weren’t trying to end the relationship. We just wanted to make sure that you fully considered your options,” Bucky said. 

“But you two decided—without me, by the way—that the best option would be breaking up, am I right?” 

Steve knelt in front of you. “I don’t want to lose you. I love you. More than I knew I could love anyone. But, Amy, I can’t—I can’t stand the thought of—” He took a breath. “I was—I _am_ —willing to let you go if it makes you happy and keeps you safe.” Steve looked at Bucky, who came over to the couch as well. 

“We felt like you’d be safest and happiest without us. You could find someone that deserves you and doesn’t put your life in danger. We didn’t make any decisions without you. We just knew that when you took the time to think about it, you’d realize that we’re no good for you.” 

You don’t know what you had expected them to say, but this made you mad. _No good for me? They can’t really believe that. They’re the best._ In your eyes, they were still making excuses, still not being completely transparent. You still had a little bit of fire left in you. 

“I see the pity party has continued in my absence,” you said. “Bottom line is: we’re supposed to be a team. The _three_ of us. So we should _all_ be working together to figure out how best to keep me safe, and yet you two keep leaving me out of that conversation.” 

“After watching that footage at the briefing, it was hard not to come to that conclusion.” 

“Don’t pretend like this is only about keeping me safe. You two have gone to the ends of the earth—hell, the ends of the universe—for each other. A part of me was hoping that one day I would be worthy of that same level of devotion. Now I’m realizing that I never will be. There’s a reason your first instinct was to push me away and not to fight for me, and that’s because I don’t fit. I see that now.”

“Amy, there is no us,” Bucky gestured savagely between him and Steve. “Not anymore. Not without you. Sure, me and Steve were friends before, but romantically it always has been and it always will be the three of us. How long have you been feeling this way?”

You shrugged, embarrassed, not meeting their gaze. “I always knew you two had such a deep bond and I was fine with that. I just hoped…” 

Steve spoke up now. “We have gone to the ends of the earth for each other because that’s what we had to do to _survive_. We don’t want to do that with you, not because we’re unwilling, but because we don’t ever want you to be in a position like that in the first place. We want you to be as happy and carefree as the day we met you, even more so. We want you to feel safe always. We would do absolutely anything for you, no matter the personal cost to us. We wanted you to take some time to think because we knew that you might be too stubborn to admit that you’re scared. We just wanted to make sure, before we started making all these plans for our future, that you understood that there is an escape hatch. However, we never meant to make you feel like we were forcing you through it.” 

You weren’t 100% sold, but what Steve was saying made sense. “I’m sorry for blowing up on you two earlier, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It was... _insightful_ ,” Steve said. “We failed to comfort our girl when she was hurting. You needed us, and for the second time in 24 hours, we let you down. And this time, it was 100% on us. If you’ll come back to my apartment, maybe we can prove to you that we’re not complete failures as boyfriends?”

You nodded and Steve picked you up. You said goodbye to your friends, Kiara still scowling at the boys and Liv looking nervous. You almost fell asleep on the short journey to Steve’s and you three decided to get ready for bed.

As you lay there, you almost felt like it could have been a normal night. Almost. But you weren’t touching. And there was a big weight in the air. The silence was charged, and it was waiting for the right moment to break. You were all staring up at the ceiling. 

“That night after the pumpkin patch, in the bed of the pickup truck…You keep talking about me and Bucky’s love story like you aren’t a part of it,” Steve said. “We’re not the same people we were in the 40s. We’re getting to know and falling in love with each other at the exact same time that we’re falling in love with you.” 

“You’re right: I don’t feel like a part of your love story. I didn’t even want to admit it to myself, but our entire relationship I’ve held this expectation that you two would wake up one day and realize that you didn’t need me anymore. Which is why I freaked out earlier when you talked about breaking up: I couldn’t believe your intentions were anything more than getting rid of me. To be honest, I may need a little bit more convincing.” It felt good to get that off your chest. 

Bucky turned to face you and you looked at him. “So you think, if the three of us broke up, that Steve and I would still be together?” You shrugged. “No _way_ I can deal with him without you.” 

You all laughed. 

You went back to looking at the ceiling. “Seriously,” Bucky said. “When I envision the perfect rest of my life: it’s with both of you, and that’s non-negotiable. Just you two. Only you. Amy and Steve. That’s it. Forever. No exchanges. No substitutions.”

“I feel the same way,” Steve said. “I had never even considered the possibility...It’s all three of us or nothing. To hear that you could even think that we don’t love you with everything we have. To think that we could ever want or imagine a life without you...I honestly don't know what I would do if we ended things. I would have a hard time adjusting to a life without you. I didn’t say that earlier because I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted you to know that you had options. You _do_ have options. And whatever you choose, we’ll support.” He looked at you to show you that he meant it. You held his gaze. 

“I choose y’all. I choose this.” 

Steve sighed shakily, laughing with relief. “Good,” he whispered. “Because I was really afraid—” his tears cut off the rest of his sentence. 

“Now I’m starting to think that you don’t know how much _I_ love _you_. This relationship is more than I ever could have dreamed of. You are great men, who do great things. But you are also _good_ men: true and kind and chivalrous. You have big hearts, and you love with every bit of them. What the three of us have together is like magic. I can’t explain it, but I think that we’re perfect for each other. I know that we still have a lot to talk about, but I need you to know that I love you and I don’t want to be without you.” 

Nothing more needed to be said. You grabbed Steve’s right hand in your left and you placed Bucky’s left arm across your stomach so you could lay your bandaged right arm over it. Soon enough you were asleep. 


	5. the sun will find us all eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from the song eventually by the naked brothers band

When you woke up, both of your boys were still in bed with you, which was a rare occurrence. Maybe they were just as worn out by all the fighting as you were. Maybe they were afraid that disturbing the sheets would shatter the newfound peace. Whatever the reason, you were glad they were there. The three of you quietly got ready for the day and ate breakfast. Your boys were definitely afraid of saying the wrong thing again. 

“Yesterday emotions were really high and I’m not proud of how I yelled at you. I hope that we never fight like that again, but if things ever do get heated in the future, I may need a little bit of time and space to cool off before we can continue talking. Yesterday sucked because I couldn’t walk off on my own and collect myself.” 

“I should’ve just gotten you your scooter, but I could tell that you had the wrong idea about our intentions and desires and I just wanted to correct that before I let you go,” Steve said. 

“I understand that. I just needed a moment to breathe.” 

“We eventually got that message loud and clear,” Bucky said. 

“You two maybe gave me a little _too_ long to breathe. You sure took your time coming to Nat’s.” You were half-joking. They had kept you waiting a little bit. 

Steve laughed. “I’m sorry. Once you left...We weren’t expecting Thor. And then hearing you cry like that and knowing that we caused it. And then we started fighting. And then Thor came back. And we almost fought him.”

“Can I ask why you texted Thor for help?” 

“I really wanted to leave and it didn’t look like you were going to make that happen any time soon. I considered asking Sam or Tony but I couldn’t take the chance that they wouldn’t just get me out of there. Nat asked why I didn’t text her, but I wasn’t very happy about the whole ‘Are you HYDRA?’ interrogation thing.”

“I forgot about that,” Steve said. “I’m sorry you had to go through that on top of everything else. We might’ve expected this out of Fury, but not Nat.” 

“Apparently, he’s been suspicious of me since that time I was sick and you ditched a mission to take care of me. Nat thought this was the time to disprove his suspicions once and for all. She wasn’t thinking about what it would feel like for me.” 

“He does know that we’re not going to be doing this forever, right?” Bucky asked. “If he’s suspicious because we take time off to care for the woman we love, he’s gonna hate it when we retire to the countryside with our dog and two cats.” 

“I notice the number of cats we’re going to have keeps increasing,” Steve laughed. 

“I also notice that you plan to retire,” you said. “A couple months ago, you weren’t so sure about that.” 

Bucky smiled. “Yeah, well, I have a promising new career path as a part-time muse.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. Great job. Excellent benefits.” You all laughed. “Of course, I’ll also keep my job as a kiss evaluator.” 

You made eye contact with Steve and then both of you leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to Bucky’s cheek. He grinned. 

“Perfect ten,” he said. For the first time, you felt like the three of you were getting back on track. “Y’know, Carol asked me about all the ways that this relationship strengthens me, and there are so many.” 

“We’re stronger together,” Steve said. 

“Exactly.” 

“Tony gave me that advice. We’ve just gotta keep it in mind.”

“Got any old magazines laying around? We should make vision boards! It’ll help us keep our eyes on what’s important.” 

After you explained what a vision board was, the boys were game. You got to the task of encapsulating your relationship in words and images: everything it was and everything you hoped it could be. You decided to make one big board together, rather than three separate ones. 

There was a farmhouse section with photos of you from the pumpkin patch and photos of Bucky with the baby animals. He also printed off a photo of him with his goats in Wakanda. 

Next to selfies from the paint night date you put the word “Joy”. You got some paint to splatter over that section. 

Steve couldn’t resist using the paint to tie all the sections of your board together by painting storybook elements. He painted crowns on your heads, a soaring dragon, a castle. 

Steve got some pencils and sketched the three of you in armor, riding into battle together, swords drawn, all looking hella fierce. You had cut out every “Stronger” and “Together” you saw in the magazines, and you put the biggest ones under that sketch. 

There was a wedding section with lots of flowers in bunches of three. 

“Maybe I’ll grow the flowers for our wedding,” Bucky said bashfully. 

“That would be amazing,” you said. 

Bucky shared with you and Steve that he was thinking of starting a greenhouse. He had purchased a building across the street (which was news to you and Steve) so that he would be able to start a rooftop garden. 

“Both of you have so much purpose,” Bucky said. “You seem to like what you do. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’m still figuring out how to be me again; how much of the old me is still me and what’s new. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I retire, but plants help me feel like I’m adding something to the world. You two do too. I’m excited for our life together, but even as we’re planning it, it doesn’t feel real. I’m still getting used to the idea that I get to have the fairytale.” 

“Me too,” you and Steve said at the same time. It was crazy that you all felt this way: like this couldn't be real, like it couldn't be happening to you. Not with your history and your luck. No way these two amazing people want to be with me. No way. 

“I used to wonder sometimes…” Steve said, suddenly very focused on the glitter glue border he was drawing over a picture of the three of you from Halloween. “I love the serum because of what it’s allowed me to do and all of the people I’ve been able to help. Trust me, I don’t miss being sickly. But sometimes I wonder if you ever would’ve been interested in me if I didn’t have it. Even Bucky didn’t make a move until after the serum—” Bucky was about to interject but you shushed him. “Sometimes at night I get to thinking: who am I without the serum? And who would still be here tomorrow if I lost the serum today?”

“Steve, the only reason I didn’t make a move before the war is because I was all you had. If you didn’t return my feelings, or if things didn’t work out—I know you, you’d want to move out, and you’d be out on the street, without me there by your side. I couldn’t risk it. But after the serum, more seemed possible.”

“You’re determined to do what’s right, you’re kind, you’re loyal, you’re funny. From what I hear, all of those things existed pre-serum. If I was around back then, I would’ve been all over you. You were a hottie before the serum, too, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“Agreed,” Bucky said, looking Steve up and down appreciatively. “I have no idea how I practiced that much self-control before the war.” 

Steve blushed. 

“Sorry if I’ve been making y’all feel like hunks of Grade A man meat.” 

“I like that,” Bucky laughed. “Whaddya say, Steve—New t-shirt?” 

“Oh, definitely,” Steve said. 

You shifted uncomfortably as you laughed along with them. You were having a great conversation but your ankle was starting to bother you again. 

“What do you need?” Bucky asked. 

“Ice?” 

He got it for you in a flash. 

“You definitely need to stay here and rest for a week,” Steve said. “By then your stitches will be out and your ankle should be much better.”

You sighed. It surprised you that the prospect of slowing down for a week was so unappealing. You had two hot nurses that would wait on you hand and foot. You literally did not have to lift a finger for the next week. But you genuinely enjoyed your job and your coworkers and you were already mourning your old life. Things would never be the same now that you had to worry about HYDRA killing said coworkers. You knew that they would take every precaution, but they had done that before and look where that had gotten you. You still wanted this relationship, but their line of work and the risks Nat had mentioned at movie night were suddenly very real. Previously, you sent them away on missions, but those missions had never come home with them. _Were_ you making a mistake? After all that fuss, should you actually have thought harder about this?

You hadn’t been alone since all of that had happened; maybe you just needed some time to think. If you had learned anything from this experience, it was that you needed to be vocal about your needs. You needed to communicate the things you weren’t used to saying. 

“I, uh…” You weren’t sure how to finish the sentence. _This has been great, boys, but I would rather sit in a room by myself than keep hanging out with you._

“Do you need a little bit of alone time? I’m realizing now that you still haven’t gotten any,” Steve said. 

You nodded. “Are you a mind reader?” 

“You’ve been glancing at the door for the past ten minutes. And Thor never arrived, so I figured you weren’t waiting on him.” You laughed in surprise. “Sorry—is it too soon to joke about that?” 

“Almost certainly,” Bucky said, laughing. 

“My point is that from now on, we will make sure that you get your alone time.” 

“I’m sorry. I just want a few moments to myself.” 

“Nothing to apologize for. I’ll get you set up in my room,” Bucky said. “Text us if you need anything. FRIDAY can get you things as well.” He carried you to his bedroom. 

He set you up on his bed, fluffing pillows for 10 minutes before you finally shooed him away. He propped your leg up with your ice pack, gave you a quick kiss, and then you were free to relax. You were surprised by how much you enjoyed the solitude. It allowed you to actually process all that had happened. You napped, you cried, and you did what they wanted: you thought critically about your relationship. You were scared, you had to admit. But you felt a lot more love and hope than you did fear. 

All of the plant life in the room was really restorative. You stared at the greenery that was thriving despite the wintry conditions outside. When you got hungry, FRIDAY delivered Pad Thai via drone. When you felt sleepy, you napped. When you woke up, you were ready to see your boys again. it was almost dinner time and you felt refreshed from your time alone. 

They were over two seconds after you texted, gingerly bringing you back to Steve’s. His whole apartment was decorated like Paris: the lights were dimmed but there were string lights and candles everywhere. A shimmering replica of the Eiffel Tower reached all the way to the ceiling. The room was full of roses and a table was set up in the center with a white table cloth. It looked just like the set up at the Jules Verne, only with three place settings this time. 

“We know you’re sad you can’t really go anywhere this week, so we thought we’d bring everywhere to you,” Bucky said. 

“We want to give you the world,” Steve said. Bucky rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t resist!” 

“I’ll permit the cheesiness just this once,” you said. 

The food was a lot more substantial than what you had eaten on your actual first date with Steve, which you laughed about. 

“Even though Tony only put fondue on the menu to mess with me, it was probably the best part of the meal!” Steve said.

“I didn’t want to be ungrateful or anything, but that bougie food just didn’t hit the spot.” 

“So the food at my date was better,” Bucky said. 

“In my defense, the room service at Shangri-La was pretty good,” Steve said. 

“It was, but it can’t hold a candle to Antonia’s cooking,” you said. 

“That food was amazing,” Bucky said. “We have to take you one day, Steve.” 

“And Steve, to your credit, our date was so good that I didn’t even mind the food.” 

“Really?!” Bucky asked. “You must have _really_ liked him!” 

“I did,” you smiled. “I just remember everything in the restaurant falling away as we talked. And then we danced and you were being such a gentleman. It was torture!” 

“What?!” Steve said. 

“I just...kept waiting for your hand to get a little lower and it never did,” you admitted with a giggle.

Steve said your name in a scandalized tone as Bucky laughed. “You’re right: I was _trying_ to be a gentleman!”

You rolled your eyes. “A gentleman that ordered me nipple tassels to wear as pajamas.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you: FRIDAY ordered those!” 

“Well then FRIDAY is a kinky bitch.” 

“Bucky’s a gentleman, too. Weren’t you waiting on his hand to get lower?” 

“Bucky had me naked a few hours into our date, so...” 

“When you joked about happy endings, I knew I had found a keeper,” Bucky laughed.

“I can’t believe it all worked out. Even though I had hoped you wouldn’t be able to choose between us, I thought that you would make a decision one way or another,” Steve said. 

“The choice was _impossible_. You’re both incredible and I had such great connections with each of you in different ways. When the three of us got together after the dates and laughed over pizza it just felt right. Obviously all pairs of us have chemistry, but the three of us together is…”

“Magic?” Bucky suggested. 

“Magic,” you confirmed. 

“At the risk of sounding even cheesier, I feel like it was destiny,” Steve said. “I’ve been called a ‘man out of time,’ and for a while I felt like a relic of the past. Slowly but surely I started to get my footing here in the 21st century. I met people like Sam and Nat that made me feel more at home in this strange time and place. But it wasn’t until I started dating you two that everything made sense. Now I know it was fate. Now I know that I’m living in exactly the right time, because you two are my present and my future.”


	6. i'll feel it shine on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from song I Will Get There (A Cappella) - Boyz II Men

Because there wasn’t much you could do with an injured leg and an injured arm, the week was pretty uneventful. The highlight of every day was the themed dinners. The next night was Tuscany, and the food was of course delicious. Decoration-wise, they had decided to recreate the dinner that you and Bucky had run out on (minus the humans dangling from the ceiling). They had put up paper on the walls and ceiling so that Steve could draw some temporary frescoes of Renaissance figures and cherubim. There were white flowers, harp music playing over the speakers, and even a freaking ice sculpture. You’d have to let Thor know that his setup was very beautiful indeed. After Italy, they moved on to places that you had yet to go. Places they wanted to take you. You ate food like Wakandan braised lamb and vegetable pilau, and Belgian fries and meatballs. 

Steve and Bucky had asked their friends to respect your privacy and not bother you, which was nice because it allowed you to focus on healing. Nat checked in regularly via text and everyone else sent you well wishes for a speedy recovery. Morgan even made you a “Get Well Soon” card that she drew herself and delivered personally. 

Even though it was a minor sprain, the boys had a physical therapist come every day and check on your ankle. The therapist did exercises with you to regain strength and even used acupuncture and lasers to help promote healing. By the end of the week, you felt like you had a new ankle! 

During the days you hung out with the boys at Steve’s or went over to Bucky’s for a little alone time. Liv and Kiara stopped by every day after work. You could tell they were still unsure about you continuing a relationship with Steve and Bucky, but they were here to support you and make sure you were being taken care of (which you were). 

“Do your friends hate us?” they asked one evening. 

“No, they don’t hate you. They hated seeing me that upset. But they’re coming around.”

“Do you think your family will come around?” Steve asked. 

“I’m not telling them!”

“You haven’t told your family?” Bucky said. “Not even about your injuries?”

“We are taking this one to the grave, understand? They can _never_ know about this,” you replied. 

“Don’t you talk to your mom pretty regularly? What have you been telling her?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. I just distract her with Real Housewives news.”

“You’re never gonna tell anyone from your family?” Steve asked. 

“I’m not even telling Anna the fake mugging story. Only a few close friends are getting the real truth and a few more are getting the fake truth. I can only deal with so many opinions. Besides, I don’t want me and Liv’s Christmas party to turn into a roast of you two.” 

“You don’t have to lie to protect us,” Steve said. 

“I’m not. But my mother doesn’t need any more reasons to worry about me. Telling more people would cause more harm than good. We had some issues and we figured them out. As far as I’m concerned, that’s our business and no one else’s.” 

“I know it was hard for you to hide our relationship from your family for as long as we did. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide something else now.”

“There’s nothing to hide. We’re working on healing this relationship and healing my body and then we’ll move forward.” 

“Are you sure?” Steve asked. 

“Positive.” 

You gave each of your boys a kiss on the cheek. 

“Speaking of friends, are you two all good with Thor?” 

Their faces told you that they were not. 

“He was just trying to help me,” you said. 

“It’s not just that. We got into it when he came back up here.” 

“I should have told him not to come up here,” you sighed. “At the time, I just liked that someone was on my side, you know? But I should’ve discouraged him from confronting you. If I had any idea—”

“It’s not your fault. We shouldn’t have made you feel like we weren’t on your side in the first place.” 

“Was your fight with him that bad?” 

Their faces told you just how bad the fight was. 

“Things got pretty heated,” Steve admitted. 

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure things out with him. Right now, all our focus is on you,” Bucky said. 

“Alright. I just didn’t want to start a war.” 

“Minor skirmish,” Bucky assured you with a smile. You chose to drop the subject. 

——

The official story that your coworkers had gotten was that you were mugged after leaving work. Brandon FaceTimed you every lunch break so that you could continue the tradition of eating together, and you could tell that he was worried about you. He was suspicious about your story and wanted to assess the situation himself. You told him he could visit with Liv and Kiara one afternoon and he accepted. You hadn’t told him the real story or any of the relationship drama yet, preferring to do it in person, but his icy greeting to the boys when he arrived told you that Liv and Kiara (most likely Kiara) had told him everything. 

You suggested that you go across the hall to talk at Bucky’s and you decided to use the knee scooter. You were feeling a lot better overall, and the scooter, while still inconvenient, wasn’t painful to use anymore. You all sat down on the couch in Bucky’s living room. 

“You guys have got to stop being so rude to them,” you said. 

“After what I heard, they’re lucky they got a greeting at all. They’re lucky I don’t kick their asses,” Brandon said. 

“Amen!” Kiara agreed.

“This all happened because of them? And not a random mugger?” he asked you. 

“I was waiting to tell you in person,” you looked pointedly at Kiara for breaking the news to him, “but yeah, a HYDRA agent tried to kidnap me.”

“And where were they when all this was happening?”

“They were on their way to pick me up for dinner. They stopped to buy me flowers and that was all the time the bad guy needed.” 

“Can you describe your attacker?”

“What? Why?” 

“I just want to make sure that it was really some evil HYDRA agent who did this.” You immediately understood what he was implying, especially in light of his childhood. 

“It was. I promise.” You directed FRIDAY to pull up the surveillance footage on the TV. You weren’t sure how you’d feel watching it, but you knew it was the only way to assuage Brandon’s fears. This would also be Liv and Kiara’s first time seeing the footage. 

You watched your first interaction with _him_. “Creepy guy!” Brandon said. “It was him?!” 

You nodded. You all watched as Shay neglected to check her section, unwittingly saving her own life. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but thank God for Shay’s laziness and incompetence!” 

“You two complain about her all the time—how does she still have a job?” Liv asked. 

“Her grandfather’s a huge donor,” you explained. “She saw one Hallmark Christmas movie about a librarian that falls in love and decided she had to work in a library. Her grandfather made one phone call and she had a job.” 

“Wait. Seriously?!” Kiara said. 

You nodded. Shay had absolutely zero experience or qualifications. She didn’t even need a job at all. She romanticized librarian life, wearing cardigans and fashion glasses every day like she was cosplaying. You wondered how her date had gone. If everything had gone according to plan, she might be swapping her cardigan for a tiara soon. 

You turned back to the TV, where Shay was hurrying out the front door and into a waiting limo. Inside, you were on your phone. You watched the scene play out, but it wasn’t as difficult to watch as it had been at the briefing. Now that a little time had passed, you realized just how amazing it was that you had survived. You hadn’t been kidnapped or seriously injured. You had stood your ground and fought back. You were powerful. 

When the footage ended, you looked at your stunned friends. Kiara had tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe you went through all that,” she said. 

“They really tried to dump you after watching that?” Liv asked. 

“Watching that footage brought up a lot of feelings for all of us. Steve and Bucky wanted me to know that I didn’t have to stay with them if I didn’t feel safe being their girlfriend anymore. They will always love me and protect me, but they are willing to let me go if that’s what I think is best. That’s what they meant to say. Or what they would’ve said, if I hadn’t freaked out on them.” 

“What happened exactly?” Brandon asked.

“I don’t know. It all happened so fast. I think they wanted to gently offer a breakup as a possibility, but they kept bringing it up because they were sure that it was what I wanted and what they deserved. To me, it felt like they were just pushing a breakup because that’s what _they_ wanted. I was getting really upset and overwhelmed and they wouldn't let me leave to collect myself, so—”

“They wouldn’t let you leave?” Brandon asked. 

“They knew their message wasn’t coming across, so they wanted to make sure that I understood their point before they let me go. I’ve talked to them about it and they know not to do that again. When I didn’t get a chance to cool down, I ended up yelling at them and having Thor come get me. He took me to Nat’s.”

“I’m Team Thor,” Kiara said. “He’s hot and he’s sweet—what more could you ask for?”

“I don’t disagree with you. He’s a great guy. He’s just not them. Steve and Bucky are also sweet and hot, by the way.” Kiara rolled her eyes. “When are you going to forgive them?” 

“Seeing my best friend so upset and injured and vulnerable was really hard for me,” Kiara said. “They’re supposed to be looking out for you. Every single thing that happened from the attack to the almost-breakup could have been prevented. _Should_ have been prevented. How do you expect me to see someone I love hurting so much and then forgive the people who caused it a few days later?”

You looked at Liv and Brandon. They seemed to agree with Kiara. 

“The attack wasn’t their fault, but we are putting even more security measures in place to prevent anything like this from happening again. The fight that we had happened for multiple reasons, one of which is that we all had insecurities that we had brought into this relationship and hadn’t dealt with or even spoken about. And, again, we were talking after watching that video at the security briefing, so emotions were high. It was a perfect storm, and I don’t think it’s any one person’s fault that we had that argument.” 

“Well, they certainly took their time coming to make up,” Kiara said. 

“True. But I had sent Thor up there to yell at them and that created a whole mess. As soon as they had collected themselves and gotten some support from their friends, they came to me. Their friends assured them that you can love someone who is not a superhero and have a life with them. That was important for them to hear so that they could believe this relationship could work. Otherwise, they would’ve still thought that breaking up was the best option to keep me safe. I really do love them and care about them and they feel the same way about me. You don’t have to forgive them instantly, but can you at least understand why I’m giving this relationship another chance?”

“We just don’t want to see you hurt again. Emotionally or physically,” Liv said. 

“I get that. I would probably feel the same way if I was in your position. I’m just asking y’all to give them one more chance. If they fuck up again, then you can hate them for eternity.” 

“Promise?” Brandon asked, sticking out his pinky. 

You laughed and wrapped your pinky around his. “Promise.” 

That was the end of it. It wasn’t all warm fuzzies but you could tell that your friends would (albeit reluctantly) give your boys another chance. That was a start. The conversation moved on to catching up on everyone’s life. Liv told you that Jacob was seeing someone new that he was excited about. If all went well, he would bring him to the Christmas party. Siena was considering going back to doing costuming for shows because she missed putting together elaborate looks and once a year at Friendsgiving was not enough. Liv had passed Lovely Liam in the hallway and told him you had been hurt and were staying with your boyfriends. He showed up at your apartment door 15 minutes later with two mugs of hot chocolate and Liv’s favorite Christmas movie! He had remembered her mentioning it around the holidays last year. He also knew the two of you well enough to know that you missed each other, especially when the other was gone for several days. He wanted to cheer her up. They had stayed on opposite ends of the couch and no kissing yet, but this was promising! Liv, of course, wasn’t even sure that he liked her like that. 

“Trust me: he likes you,” Brandon said. “You only remember that kind of stuff for girls you really care about.”

“Yeah, but he could really care about me as a friend,” Liv said. 

Kiara rolled her eyes and flopped back onto the couch dramatically. 

“Do we need two semi-objective opinions?” you asked. 

Brandon and Kiara nodded as Liv shook her head. You texted Steve and Bucky to come over and they did. 

“You remember Lovely Liam from that time we made burgers?”

“Breastmilk bro?”

“No, the other one.” 

“The one that’s in love with Liv?”

“Exactly!” Kiara laughed as Liv hid her head in her hands. 

“Thanks, boys. That’ll be all,” you said, as they had already proven your point. They looked at you in confusion. “Liv doesn’t think Liam has feelings for her,” you explained.

“What?!” Steve’s shocked face was comical. 

“We’ve tried to tell her,” you said. “We just needed an outside opinion.” 

“He likes you,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. 

Kiara thanked them for having the correct opinion and they left. You continued chatting about Brandon and Kiara’s updates when FRIDAY interrupted with a “Package Arrival Notification”. You opened Bucky’s door and saw a ton of stacked boxes and parcels. Your friends helped you bring them all in.

“All this is for you?” Brandon asked. 

“They must really want to get back into our good graces, showing off like this,” Kiara said. 

“We ordered this stuff days ago,” you huffed annoyedly. Ascribing ulterior motives to their actions wasn’t exactly turning over a new leaf. 

…

“I’m bored,” you said, tossing the remote beside you on the couch. 

“You could always try a little retail therapy,” Bucky suggested. “FRIDAY says you put things in your online shopping cart and never buy them.” 

“FRIDAY needs to mind her own business,” you said. “I thought y’all said you weren’t keeping track of that stuff.” 

“We aren’t. We just asked her if you were actually using the device like you’re supposed to.” 

“Well, I’m gonna ask Tony to design a no-snitching protocol for FRIDAY. The last thing I need is you ‘just asking’ her about my porn preferences.” 

Bucky laughed. “We would never violate your privacy like that. Besides, you’ve told us all your fantasies, haven’t you?” 

“A lady has to have her secrets,” you replied. 

“Fair enough. I’ll just have her order everything in all your carts.” 

“Hold on. There’s a method to my madness.” 

You had a system in place: you put all the cute things in your cart, sometimes in two different sizes and colors, and then you went back and looked at size charts and customer reviews and decided the right colors and sizes. Then you looked through your cart and got rid of things you didn’t need. Then you looked at the total, shed a single tear, and did a second round of edits. The total was usually still high, so you saved the cart and vowed to come back at a later time with “fresh eyes”. By the time you came back (if you came back at all), half the things were out of stock anyway. It was always the things you were most excited about that went out of stock. You eventually decided that you didn’t need to buy anything and abandoned the cart. And that was just for clothes! You had similar processes when buying home decor and beauty products. Those processes took even longer because you looked for several in-depth Youtube reviews. Sometimes, after all that, you’d order the dress or the moisturizer and it didn’t fit right or didn’t make your skin “as soft as a baby’s bottom” and it discouraged your faith in online shopping. All of your online shopping carts were at varying stages of this process and orders were not ready to be placed. 

“That sounds like an exhausting system,” Bucky said. Now that he mentioned it, it really was. Your wallet thanked you for it, though. “You don’t need that system anymore, especially with sizes and colors. If you need to order a few of the same item to figure out what you like, you can do that.” 

“Don’t tell me that or I’ll be up to my ears in online purchases. And I’ll have to lug them to the post office and send back everything I don’t want.”

“We’ll take care of all the returns for you,” Steve said. 

Bucky handed you the tablet. “Don’t give it back until you’ve ordered the custom Ferrari.” 

“We’ll make sure to hire you a driver, too,” Steve said. “Don’t want you wreaking havoc on the roads.” 

You laughed with them and rolled your eyes. “I’m not a bad driver,” you muttered. They laughed again. 

…

Now you were in Bucky’s living room with your friends, up to your ears in packages. You couldn’t lie: you were kind of excited to open them all. It felt like Christmas had come early. Your friends helped you open packages, all of you showing off each item you uncovered to the room like you were a vlogger doing an unboxing haul. 

“Oh my God!” Liv said. You couldn’t see her behind a wall of boxes. 

Kiara looked over. “Now _that’s_ what I’m talking about! Make their pockets hurt, Amy!”

Despite the Ferrari comment, you had tried to be pretty conservative with your spending. In fact, you were surprised by the number of boxes in the room. You didn’t think you had placed _that many_ orders. You and Brandon made your way to Liv. She had opened a nondescript cardboard box, but inside of the bubble-wrapped lining sat one of those iconic little blue boxes with a white bow. 

“Is that what I think it is?” you asked. 

Liv nodded. 

“I didn’t order that!” you said. “Is it addressed to me?” 

Liv double-checked and nodded. 

“Do you think it’s a ring?” Brandon asked. 

“No! No way. It’s too soon for that. Right?” You were starting to panic a little. 

“Open it!” Kiara said. 

“What if it’s not for me?” 

“Of course it’s for you!” Kiara said. She handed you the box. 

You untied the bow and opened the box. Inside was a small blue satchel. Not a ring box. _Phew_. You opened it and fished out a gleaming gold bracelet. It had a heart pendant that said: “Please Return to Tiffany & Co.” It was gorgeous. 

“Let me put it on you,” Kiara said, taking the bracelet out of your hands. 

You held your wrist out for her. “Do you think it’s really for me?” 

She fastened it and turned it over, inspecting it. “Definitely for you.” She showed you where your initials had been engraved on the back. 

You admired the way it moved on your wrist as you turned it side to side. Now that you had it on, it almost looked familiar. Where would you have seen this before? You dug out your phone and navigated to the Pinterest board dedicated to the things you would buy if you ever won the lottery. And there it was: your bracelet, one of three on a girl’s arm. 

“Do you think they got you all three?” Brandon asked. 

“No way.” 

“Find me those Tiffany boxes!” Kiara said. She, Liv, and Brandon got to searching and found two more boxes. 

One had a velvety black box with the “T” diamond wire bracelet inside. Another had a gold bangle with diamonds and roman numerals around it. All three bracelets that the girl in the picture was wearing were now sitting on your arm. 

“I’m still not convinced these are actually for me,” you said. 

Kiara reached around in the box. She retrieved an envelope, which she opened and read aloud: “We knew you wouldn’t order this yourself. P.S. It may be time to update your wishlist.” 

Your friends opened packages with renewed vigor, looking to see what else Steve and Bucky had gotten you. Bags, clothes, skincare, makeup: everything luxurious and fabulous that you had resigned yourself to never having. They had even gotten a replica of the sunglasses and blue blazer Harley Quinn had worn at the end of Birds of Prey. Your wishlist was for things you could only daydream about having, and now it was all sitting in Bucky’s living room with you. Brandon sent a photo of you posing dramatically in heels, a scarf, and sunglasses to your Friendsgiving group chat. He captioned it “Full Sugar Baby Mode: Activated”. When everything had been opened, tried on, and modeled you all flopped back on the couch. Trying on clothes was exhausting! 

Your phone dinged with a notification. Steve texted that they had ordered some extra food in case your friends wanted to stay for dinner. You couldn’t believe it was dinner time already! Your friends were happy to stay. You told them to give you a few minutes head start so you could thank your boyfriends for all the gifts. 

When you walked into Steve’s living room you were transported to Tokyo, complete with neon signs in Japanese and the Tokyo tower. 

“We really could’ve used you two in set design for those high school productions that you’ll never see the footage of.” 

“Oh, we saw the footage,” Steve smiled. 

“What?! I woke up at a decent time each day!” 

“You’re right, but it was still hours after everyone else,” Steve said. 

“Your performance as Ophelia was transcendent,” Bucky said. 

You rolled your eyes. “Moving on from that,” you said, “I don’t even know what to say about all those gifts.” 

Steve bit his lip nervously. “Did you like them?” 

You held up your wrist with your three Tiffany bracelets. “Are you kidding? It’s way too good to be true. I’m waiting on everything to disappear like leprechaun gold. You really didn’t have to—”

“We _wanted_ to,” Bucky said. 

“I hope you didn’t buy this stuff because you feel guilty about anything.” 

“We bought it because you deserve it. End of story. How many times do we have to tell you to get used to this kinda stuff?” Steve asked. 

“I don’t know that I ever will. I’m not even accustomed to being desired romantically. To have _two_ boyfriends that I couldn’t conjure up in my wildest daydreams? No, I don’t think I’ll be getting used to you any time soon.” You motioned for each of them to come closer so you could hug them. “I love everything. I can’t even believe you two.” 

Your friends came in then. 

“Woah,” Liv said. “This place looks incredible!” You knew she’d appreciate the decorations. 

You all sat down to dinner. You prayed that your friends would behave. 

“Steve, Bucky,” Brandon said, breaking the silence, “I need your guarantee that you won’t make her cry again.” 

“Unless they’re happy tears,” Kiara added. 

“Happy tears only,” Brandon confirmed. 

“ _Guys_ ,” you whispered. “You said that you’d give them another chance, remember?” 

“We promise,” Steve said, looking at you. “Only happy tears.” 

“Bucky? I need to hear you say it,” Brandon said. 

Bucky made eye contact with you. “I promise.” 

They were promises you were confident they would keep. The rest of dinner was nice. Your friends backed off a little and got to spend some quality time with your boys. You felt like your life was starting to get back to normal again. Well, as normal as your life could be when you were dating Captain America and the Winter Soldier. 

——— 

Throughout the week, Bucky would disappear for a few hours and come back covered in dirt. He was working hard on his greenhouse, but he refused to let you and Steve see. When you weren’t talking to your friends or trying to decide how to reconfigure your closet for all the new additions Steve and Bucky had bought you, you were watching movies or catching up on books you had meant to read. 

It felt good to slow down for a few days and focus on your healing. By the end of the week, you were feeling much better. Swelling and pain had subsided, almost all of your bruises were gone, and your stitches were removed. You were cleared to walk on your ankle as long as you were gentle with it. It was time to talk about going back to work and your new security protocols. 

“Your old boss received a very generous job offer at another library. One of our top agents will take her place. She has library experience, so don’t worry about that. She’s there to keep an eye on you and to make sure that you’re never on the schedule for opening or closing. We realize that while your apartment was guarded like a fortress, the library had weak spots. We assumed that you would always be surrounded by people there, so we thought an agent stationed outside would be enough.” 

“Now we’ll have one inside the library and one outside. We’ve replaced your usual agent with one that is hopefully more capable—”

“It’s not his fault!” 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Well, now you have a better one. We’ll run facial recognition on everyone who enters the library or your apartment building. We’ll also have one of our agents serving as a doorman to your building.” 

“Do you have all these extra agents to spare?” You were skeptical, especially after the attitudes of the S.H.I.E.L.D. leadership at the briefing. 

“Of course,” Bucky said. 

Steve continued, “We’ve also been thinking about getting you a suit that can be activated in case of emergency. It would provide you with some protection and a way of fighting back. It would also allow you to be in contact with us while we’re on our way to you.” 

“A suit?” You believed in the power of a good pant suit, but you didn’t think a stylish blazer would save your life. 

Steve nodded. “We’re having Tony draw up some designs.” 

_Oh!_ “For an Iron Man suit?” 

“Probably a little less bulky than that. Something lightweight and portable. Maybe a hybrid between his and Peter’s suits? You’ll be able to come in and try everything out and give notes, of course.” 

“I do not need a super suit.” 

“At least let us get you a prototype that you can train with,” Steve said. 

You sighed. “I don’t know…” This all felt like a little much. 

“Please,” Bucky pleaded. “You’ll never need it, but it would make us feel so much better.” 

“If doing such a small thing will help you two feel better, then I’ll do it.” 

“Thank you,” Bucky said. “We’re realizing that we can’t hunt HYDRA forever, and even though it’s insidious, we’re gonna do our best to wipe them out. Or at least destabilize them so badly they won’t have the ability to try something like that again.” 

“In the meantime, we think these new security measures will keep you safe.” 

“Does that mean you’re going to be going on a lot more dangerous missions? To get rid of HYDRA?” 

They looked at each other. “We may be going on a few more missions than usual,” Bucky said. 

“For how long?” you asked. 

“As long as it takes,” Steve said. 

“You know I worry about you, too,” you said. 

“We know,” Bucky patted your knee. 

“Are you going to get Tony to design _you_ new suits? I want to wrap you in ten feet of bubble wrap before you go out there!” They laughed. “I’m serious! It does me no good if you two are throwing yourselves into even more danger on my behalf.” 

“This is our job. We’ll be as safe as we always are.” 

“You promise to always come back in one piece?” 

“We promise.” 

“It seems like you could spend a lifetime hunting HYDRA down. If this isn’t taken care of in the next few years, are you willing to walk away so that you can retire and we can focus on our life together?” 

They looked at each other again. 

“I’ve avoided asking the real questions for a while now. I figure it’s time to start asking you the things that I worry about.” 

“That’s a...fair question,” Steve said slowly. 

“We made that beautiful vision board the other day,” you said. “We’ve talked about weddings and a house in the country with our kids and dogs and cats. I want to make sure that’s not just pillow talk. Because even though we talk about our future together, I still get the sense that you two are apprehensive. I want the life that we envisioned together, and I know you want it too. What I don’t know is whether or not you two intend to make it happen.” 

There was a long pause. 

“I’m scared,” Steve said finally.

“Terrified,” Bucky agreed. 

“Of what?”

“The other day we had just bought you flowers we knew you’d love and we were going to take you to a restaurant we knew you’d love and then walked in to see you being attacked. I felt your blood running through my fingers as I tried to stop the bleeding on your arm. I just barely survived that. It scares me to think about something happening to either of you or our future children.”

“It scares me too,” you said. “We don’t have to have the answer today, but I just wanted to know if the future I’m hoping for is even possible.” 

“It is possible,” Bucky said. “Carol and Tony are examples of just how possible it is.” 

“I don’t know that I can give you an exact timeline right now, but I can tell you that the future we want is possible,” Steve said. 

“I want to retire soon,” Bucky said. You and Steve looked at him in surprise. “In three years, or when we defeat HYDRA, or when we have our first child—whichever comes first.” 

“I like that,” you said. You kissed him. Steve looked anxious that he didn’t have a retirement plan in place yet. “No pressure, Steve.” 

He smiled gratefully. “You know that I want you to have the world.”

You smiled back. “I know.” 

“I’m gonna do my best to make it happen,” he assured you. 


	7. Light of your Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from the song Found by Ella Mai

You woke up on Monday morning excited and anxious about going back to work. The boys had insisted on accompanying you this first week to make sure you were taking it easy and that you felt safe. You felt so disorganized as you tried to get ready at Steve’s. You didn’t often sleep over at the Tower on nights before work. Steve and Bucky usually came to your place. You didn’t have a lot of work clothes over here, and all of your wishlist clothes were fabulously impractical. You were able to put an outfit together, eat a few bites of breakfast, and take your meds. You were almost out the door—already running late considering the longer commute—when you realized you didn’t have your phone. 

_Where did I put it?_

“Can someone call me?” 

“Got it,” Steve said. 

You didn’t hear anything. You looked at Steve’s screen to see if the call was already in progress and noticed that your name in his phone was Bookstore Babe. 

You laughed. “Bookstore babe?” 

“It originally was your real name, but after Sam gave you the nickname, I decided to change it.” 

“That’s cute.” 

“What's my name in your phone?” Steve asked you. 

You were suddenly embarrassed by the abundance of emojis. You normally used full government names for contacts, but with the boys it was a different story. You needed all the emojis to convey the joy you felt when their names popped up on your screen. “Oh, you know, just your name.” 

“Can I see?” 

You showed him: Stevie ✨ 💕 😍 😘 🔥 ❤️ 💯 🍆 💦 👅 💕 ✨

Bucky came over now. “What’s mine?” You showed him: Bucky Baby ✨ 💕 😍 😘 🔥 ❤️ 💯 🍆 💦 👅 💕 ✨ You had given them the exact same emojis in the name of equality. 

“What am I in your phone?” you asked Bucky. 

“Well, once I saw Steve’s contact name for you a few months ago, I changed it to Subway Sweetheart.”

“Aww, that’s sweet!”

“Aren’t we about to be late for work?” Steve asked.

“Well hopefully now that my boss is on your payroll I have a lot more job security.” You had met your new boss/agent the day prior and were excited to work with her. The rest of your colleagues had met her on Friday. 

“Did you leave it plugged in at my place?” Bucky asked. 

“Oooh! Yes! I think so!” You went and sure enough there it was. You finally got on your way to work. 

You knew that everything had been cleaned up, but it still shocked you to see everything in the library functioning like normal. It was as if nothing had ever happened here. You weren’t sure how you’d feel coming back here, but seeing the library with patrons and employees felt good. It felt completely different from the place you had been attacked. 

When you took your seat at the reference desk, you saw that your coworkers had made you a Welcome Back card. The sweet gesture was so unexpected that you almost started crying. You were grateful that no one asked about the attack and that you were able to do your job as normal. Well, as normal as possible with your two boyfriends in attendance. You got back into the flow of your job, manning the desk with Camilla, who was enjoying getting time to talk with the boys. She was so focused on her conversations that you ended up helping the majority of the patrons that stopped by for help. You had lunch with Brandon, Camilla, and the boys in the breakroom. Then it was back to work. 

“Miiissss Aaaaammyyyy!” You looked up to the sound of two of your favorite patrons. 

Their mother Felisha (your third favorite patron) shushed them, but they were bundles of excitement wrapped up in warm winter clothes and did not move quietly. 

“Miss Amy!” Rashaad demanded your attention, which you happily gave him. “Thank you for the help on my essay! I got an A!”

“It was my pleasure. You did all the hard work.”

He dropped the backpack that was bigger than him, fumbling with the zipper through his gloves and grabbing the paper from his backpack, showing you the gold star. As you reached for it, Felisha noticed your scar (the library was pretty warm, and you had bunched up the sleeves of your sweater). 

“What happened to your arm?!” 

“Mugging,” you whispered so the kids wouldn’t hear. 

“That’s terrible!”

“What’s terrible? What happened?” Lala yelled. “I can’t hear down here!”

You laughed as her mother shushed the 4-year-old. Lala rolled her eyes and busied herself with removing her hat, gloves, and scarf, piling them onto the floor. After a pointed look from her mother, she shoved the clothing into her backpack. 

“Are you ok?”

“Yes. Lucky for me I had two strong, handsome saviors,” you gestured at your boys, who blushed. 

“Handsome, indeed,” Felisha whispered conspiratorially. 

“Married not buried, I see.”

The two of you laughed. 

“Kids, you should go on to the kids section, mommy will be right there.” Code for: Gossip time. 

“Wait! Rashaad, do you recognize anyone?” you asked.

Rashaad looked up with curiosity at your boyfriends before his eyes widened. 

“Captain America!” Lala said cheerfully and Steve smiled and waved at her. 

“And the Winter Soldier,” Rashaad said in a hushed tone. He ran and hid behind Felisha’s legs, eyes never leaving Bucky. You saw how Bucky tried to mask his heartbreak at Rashaad’s reaction. 

“I’m sorry,” Felisha said. “He’s just—”

“I get it. Happens—”

“Starstruck,” she finished, catching Bucky off guard. 

“Now Rashaad, don’t you want to meet the person you wrote your A-winning personal hero essay about?” you asked the little boy, coming around the desk and bringing Bucky with you. 

Rashaad nodded but didn’t move. Felisha gently nudged him forward. “Why don’t you tell him why he’s your hero?”

“Because he lost his arm just like me. And he helps people.” 

“That’s right,” you said. “Maybe you can show him the reading nook? Read him your essay?”

You nudged Bucky forward and he took the most timid steps you had ever seen him take. He shyly offered his hand to Rashaad, who gratefully grabbed it and ran. 

Lala had her hands on her hips. “Hello? Captain America!”

Steve looked at you and Felisha. “You heard the woman!” you responded and watched as Steve and Lala followed Bucky and Rashaad. 

“Ok, tell me everything,” Felisha said. You told her the fake story of how the two of them had saved you from a mugger. 

Bucky and Rashaad and Lala and Steve really hit it off. After the family left, Bucky wanted to get Rashaad a new arm so that he would be able to have full use of it. 

“Since this technology exists, it should be available to everyone,” Bucky said. 

“I’m sure Shuri and Tony would be more than happy to help you get prosthetics to people that need them,” Steve said. 

—— 

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. Bucky spent all of his time reading about greenhouses and prosthetics and medical charities. Steve spent all of his time reading mystery novels and trying to sneak kisses with you and Bucky whenever he could. 

After work on Friday, the boys asked you if you wanted to go for a short walk to celebrate your completely healed ankle and you agreed. You walked about a block before they stopped you at a parking lot in an industrial area. _How romantic_. You followed them into the parking lot, confused, until you saw it: 

Red and pink lights glittering in the distance: The Tunnel of Love! It was the same one from the fair! Your boys were grinning ear to ear. 

“How did you…?”

“You said to keep it, we listened.”

You boarded the ride, with the familiar sight of trios of animals in love, your first dates, the picnic, gallery night, and Halloween. Now there was Thanksgiving with your family, complete with crazy Black Friday shopping. 

There was you as the fearsome Princess Amy slaying an evil dragon with white scales and red eyes. 

“Attempted kidnapping by a madman,” you commented. “I am officially a superhero girlfriend now.” The boys laughed and held you tighter. 

You and your two princes waved down from an archway you passed under, carrying you into the future: Christmas and Valentine’s Day of this year, but also marriage, pregnancy, and _a lot_ of kids. It went on to show you three growing old together: silver-haired and holding hands, rocking on a front porch. Confetti rained down on you and the boat came to rest in a beautiful garden. You could smell the fresh roses, but you could barely appreciate how they looked because you were crying. 

You stayed there for a moment, holding each other close. Seeing that montage of your entire relationship showed just how much you had gone through together, and how much you wanted them by your side for any future trials and tribulations. 


	8. The Other Side Was Sunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from the song a lot - 21 Savage

Monday was your first day back at work alone. Considering how smoothly things had gone last week, you weren’t worried at all. You were still staying with the boys at the Tower. When they dropped you off in the morning, they asked if you were sure about going in by yourself. You had assured them that you would be fine and that it was time for you to face this. 

You were a few minutes into your shift at the reference desk, slowly sipping on the peppermint hot chocolate Brandon had brought you, when you saw a figure in a long, dark coat out of the corner of your eye. Your eyes snapped up to examine the face of the man who had walked in. He looked nice enough, but your heart pounded as he approached the desk. You fought the urge to recoil as he politely asked you where he could find books on birdwatching. You pointed him in the right direction and he thanked you and went on his way. 

_He was nice. Not creepy at all. Not anything like him._

_Except for that stupid coat._

_I bet tons of people have that coat. It’s wintertime in the city—you’re gonna see a lot of men in long, dark coats._

_He’s not a bad guy. You’re fine. Besides, you’ve got a highly skilled S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in an office just feet away, you’re in a crowded library, and the boys will be here before closing to pick you up._

_What if I have to go to the bathroom?_

_Oh, God. What if I have to go to the bathroom? And he follows me? And drugs me and drags me out of here!_

_Just don’t leave the desk. Easy solution._

_What about lunch? The breakroom is secluded enough that he could lie in wait and ambush me on my way there._

At this point, you were having trouble breathing as your heart threatened to hammer out of your chest. You tried to take some soothing deep breaths but you couldn’t. No matter how many times you pushed your fears away, they came running right back. When Camilla asked if you were okay, you assured her that you were fine and excused yourself. You walked anxiously, aimlessly, checking over your shoulder the whole time. You weren’t sure where you were headed until you ended up at your spot. Your safe haven. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and clumsily dialed Bucky with your shaking fingers. He picked up on the first ring. 

You could hear the smile in his voice. “Hey, baby. Miss us already?” 

You laughed shakily. You were starting to feel better already. “I just needed to hear your voice,” you said. 

You could practically see him sitting up in alarm. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just, um…” _Saw a man wearing a coat in the wintertime. He must be some diabolical villain._ “It’s nothing.”

“Tell us all about it,” Bucky said. 

“I just saw a man in a black coat kind of like the one _he_ was wearing when he...It just freaked me out. I saw it out of the corner of my eye and it just caught me off guard. Then the man came to ask me for help finding a book. He seems like a nice guy, he just reminded me of _him_ for some reason.” 

Your heart started to beat faster just recounting it. You heard footsteps and spun around. It was Steve and Bucky. Bucky hung up the phone and opened his arms, which you jumped into. You clung on tightly as he rubbed your back soothingly. “It’s alright,” he said. “We’re here. You’re safe. Everything’s okay.” 

When your breathing and heart rate had come back to normal and you had stopped shaking, he set you down. 

“Thank you. How did you get here so quickly?”

“Oh, we were just in the neighborhood,” Steve said. 

“Really?” you asked. 

“I’m here to pick up a copy of Sherlock Holmes. I’ve been meaning to read it,” Bucky said nonchalantly, inspecting titles on the shelf. 

“I see. Steve? What are you here for?” 

He looked around hurriedly. “I’m looking for a...book...about...uh...taxidermy!” He picked a large volume off the shelf and held it up triumphantly. “Yep, I’ve been thinking about getting into taxidermy. You’re actually in my way, Miss. Could you step aside?” 

“Of course,” you played along. “Sorry, sir.” 

“I have a question about an overdue book. I haven’t returned the book I checked out two months ago and there’s a hold on my card but I want to check out another,” Bucky said. 

“Oh, shut up!” you laughed. They had listened to you complain about work enough times to know the kinds of requests you got. 

The boys stayed until the birdwatching guy left. He really did seem like an upstanding guy. They wanted to stay longer, but you shooed them out. You had to learn how to be at work on your own again. They reluctantly agreed, but every day that week you got “random” visits from different Avengers looking for books. 

On Tuesday, Sam and Nat came in asking for books on Wakandan cuisine and crocheting, respectively. They spent a few hours casually reading, but you knew exactly what they were doing and thanked them as they left. Their visit gave you that extra little boost you needed to get through the day. When the boys picked you up that afternoon, you asked them if they asked their friends to visit you, but they seemed genuinely (and pleasantly) surprised. It appeared their friends had taken it upon themselves to make sure that you felt safe. 

On Wednesday, Wanda stopped by in the morning to look up and print some traditional Sokovian recipes. She was going to replace the contents of Sam’s folder with them in their next intel briefing as a prank and a not-so-subtle request for him to cook her more dishes from her homeland. Peter dropped by that afternoon for help on a history paper. Unlike everyone else, he needed some serious help. You were happy to help him with his paper. You did not miss your schooldays of dry assigned readings and pointless essays. 

On Thursday, Thor and Carol came in. Carol was content to prop her feet up on a table and read the well-loved paperback she had brought with her. When Damien approached her so he could try to flirt, the look she shot him had him scurrying away before he could even start one of his trademark pickup lines. 

Thor, however, wanted a tour of the entire library. He had trouble with the whole “being quiet” thing as he asked questions about how public libraries worked in the city and what you did there. You proudly showed him your small (but growing!) section on Asgard. 

“Val has begun a project to translate some of our classic works of literature into English. I will have some copies sent here.” 

“That would be wonderful! The demand for knowledge and literature about life on other planets is high.”

“There was a Great Library in Asgard. I would go there sometimes as a child and rip out the pages and—” He faltered at your look of horror. “Ah, I mean bring pages of parchment with me. I brought pages of parchment with me to the library so that I could fold them up into small spaceships and throw them at my brother from behind the bookcases.” 

“I’m sure Loki _loved_ that.”

“Yes, well I stopped doing it once he learned how to turn the parchment into hordes of winged beasts that would chase me out of the library.” 

“Loki’s going to have to teach me how to do that one day. It would really help with some of our more rambunctious patrons. Tell me: Is this your first time in a library since you were chased out of one as a child?” 

“No, I admit that I found an alternate use for the privacy and secluded spaces of the library in my later years.” 

“Of course Asgardians are the same as...Earthgardians?”

“Midgardians.”

“Midgardians. Don’t tell me that Asgardians and Midgardians have the same penchant for library sex.” 

Thor shrugged guiltily. 

“You know what? As long as you were quiet and clean about it, I honestly prefer it to you ripping the pages out of books.” 

“Hey! The official story is that I brought that parchment myself!” 

You laughed together. “Whatever you say, Thor. Just don’t do that in my library, or you’ll have more than birds to worry about.” 

“Noted, my lady. I will treat this hall of knowledge with the utmost respect.” 

You curtsied. “Thank you, my lord.” 

“I wish I had appreciated that old library while it stood. The things I could have learned…”

“There is still plenty to learn. Even if it’s not written down. I’ve heard that there is a strong oral tradition in Asgard: ballads and war songs. In addition to the translation project, you should have someone go around and collect oral histories from people.”

“That is an excellent idea! I will have it implemented at once!” You were glad he was excited, but you had to remind him to keep his voice down for the tenth time that day. 

“In the meantime, I can recommend you tons of excellent books about Earth, if you want.”

He nodded. You set him up with the most entertaining history books you had—ones with detailed battles and vivid storytelling and plenty of maps and illustrations—books that would make the history of his new planet come alive for him. He sat down next to Carol and got lost in the books. You periodically checked in on him to make sure he wasn’t ripping any pages out, but he seemed to be treating your books gently. 

“I will take them all,” he said at the end of the day, dropping the books on the desk in front of you. 

“Then you will need a library card.” 

“A what?” 

“In order to check out books, you have to have one of these little cards that says that you’re allowed to.” You held up a card to show him. 

He laughed heartily. “That flimsy thing is what gives Midgardians the right to knowledge? That’s preposterous.” 

“It’s procedure,” you shrugged. “I’m gonna need to see some ID.” 

“ID?”

“Do you have an identification card? Like a driver’s license?” You wondered if he had ever even driven a car. He might be worse than you! Finally, you knew someone with less driving experience! 

“I do not need a piece of parchment for identification. I am Thor Odinson of Asgard.”

“Unfortunately you do need a ‘piece of parchment’ for identification here. Do you have a passport or something?”

“A what?”

“Do you have a MetroCard?”

He rolled his eyes and fished in his pocket. “Yes. Tony says I have to start using it. Apparently, it is unseemly for Avengers to disobey the laws.” 

“Were you...jumping turnstiles?” 

“The fares are too high! I feel justified in causing momentary electrical failure to the machines so that they cannot collect payment from the hardworking citizens who are just trying to find a way home. Tony has requested that I obey the laws, and as a guest in his homeland I have begrudgingly acquiesced.” He slapped the card on the table. You had not expected him to be such an activist, but appreciated his opposition to the high fares. Since the boys had started taking you to work and picking you up, you had not missed the subway one bit. They would probably insist on you taking a car to work from now on and you couldn’t say you were sad about it. 

While you technically needed another form of identification from him, you let it slide and issued him his card. You doubted your new boss would have any objections. The two of you were chatting about the Trojan War when Steve and Bucky came in to pick you up. They exchanged awkward greetings with Thor. 

“You guys have got to make up,” you said. 

“I would like to apologize to you, Steven and James,” Thor said. “I stand by my words, however, I should have taken more care in the way with which I spoke them. My only intention was to defend my friend, but you are my friends as well and you were all dealing with a very difficult situation.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said. “I’m sorry for getting so mad at you. You were just looking out for our girl.” 

Thor clapped Bucky on the shoulder and smiled warmly. Bucky rewarded him with a small smile. Now that that was settled, all eyes were on Steve, who was quiet. 

“Steve?” you asked. 

“I’m sorry,” he grumbled. 

“Good. Now once more, with feeling,” you said. 

“You’re supposed to be my friend,” he said to Thor. “Why would you assume the worst of me? It was never our intention to abandon her.” 

“I apologize. I do know you to be an honorable man both on and off the fields of battle. However, we in Asgard believe in cherishing our women—” 

“I cherish my woman!” Steve said. You and Bucky made eye contact and had to stifle your laughter. That sentence sounded so funny coming from Steve. 

Thor looked at you to confirm. “I am loved deeply and always cared for,” you assured him. “They cherish me. I just needed to be reassured of that.” 

“Seems to me that this was all an unfortunate misunderstanding,” Thor said. 

“Agreed,” Steve said. “I would like to put this incident behind us. I vow to make sure that Amy feels how loved and cherished she is every day,” he said, looking at you. 

Thor pulled him into a crushing hug. After a few long seconds, Thor released Steve, but only momentarily so that he could scoop you and Bucky into a group hug. The hug went from awkward, to comforting, to uncomfortable, but after a minute Thor released everyone. You found that any lingering tension was gone. 

The next day there were no Avengers guest appearances, but you felt just fine. You were only working a half-day and felt like you had been slowly eased into coming back to work. 

You checked your new watch: only 30 minutes until the boys were supposed to come and pick you up for lunch. You undid another button of your sweater: the heat felt like it was on full blast today. 

“Can you put the girls away? This is a family establishment!” Camilla joked, looking pointedly at your cleavage. 

You laughed. It was a slow day so you weren’t too worried about your less-than-professional appearance. That was until you saw people approaching the desk. You were trying to find a way to discreetly re-button your sweater when you realized it was your boys. You smiled and leaned across the counter for a kiss from each of them. 

“Hi,” you said, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful,” Bucky said, giving you a slow kiss on your cheek. Maybe it was the heat, but his words had you ready to melt. 

“Most gorgeous woman in the galaxy. I should know: I‘ve been to space,” Steve grinned. You watched his eyes travel from your face down to your cleavage and ran his tongue along his bottom lip subconsciously, hungrily. You realized that your position leaning over the desk only accentuated the view from your unbuttoned top. 

“See somethin’ you like, Rogers?” you teased. 

When Steve looked in your eyes you saw mischief there. Your challenge had ignited a fire in him. He held out his hand and you took it. Assuming that you were leaving, you went to grab your bag, but he stopped you. He led you and Bucky away from the front door and into the semi-privacy of your secret spot. 

“What are you doing?” you asked. 

“Cherishing you,” he said before gripping your waist and pulling you in for a kiss. You giggled against his mouth and he smiled at you before deepening the kiss. 

Was it weird that you had missed his tongue? You missed the way it ran over your bottom lip before pressing into your mouth. You especially missed his tongue at your folds when his head was between your legs. He kissed you hard, pressed his body against yours so that you were trapped between him and Bucky. You were realizing now that it had been weeks since you had given each other more than a peck on the lips. 

When he started kissing your neck you were able to manage out a “Stevie?” He paused and made eye contact with you. “Think you could use that mouth to ‘cherish’ my pussy?” He nodded eagerly, sinking down to his knees and throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. You were glad that you had chosen to wear a cute skirt today (not having to take the subway allowed you to make less practical outfit choices). You threw your head back against Bucky’s chest as Steve began to lick you through the fabric of your underwear. You whined and wiggled your hips. You couldn’t stand any teasing. Not right now. He laughed a little to himself as he tore your underwear off and placed it in his pocket. 

When his tongue finally tasted your bare sex you shivered. Bucky held you steady. His hands migrated to your chest. He unbuttoned your sweater even more and pushed it out of the way so that he could knead your breasts through your bra. All the while, he never stopped kissing the side of your face and telling you how much he loved you. 

They made you cum several times back there, something you would later look back on and deem incredibly hot and horribly unprofessional. They used their hands and mouths on you at the library, then hurried you back to the Tower so they could fuck you properly. You ended up ordering in for lunch and staying in bed until it was time for dinner. Nat had asked you to have dinner with her and Wanda, so you reluctantly showered and got dressed. You never would’ve accepted her dinner invitation if you had known what lunch with the boys would be like. And you couldn’t cancel, seeing as you were already in the building. Steve and Bucky kept asking you for “One more kiss,” until you were ten minutes late. You finally got them off of you long enough to get out the door, promising you’d be back as soon as you could. 

You skipped downstairs and knocked at Nat’s door. All of that amazing sex had certainly put a spring in your step. When Nat opened the door, you saw Wanda, which you expected, and Liv, Kiara, and Camilla, which you had not. 

“Surprise!” Camilla said when you walked in, holding her arms out to the sides and doing jazz hands. 

“Hey, guys! What are you doing here?!” You hugged your friends. 

“Aren’t you tired of eating with Steve and Bucky every night?” Kiara joked. 

“Surprisingly, no,” you replied. 

“Does that have anything to do with those fresh hickeys, or…?” Natasha asked. 

“And you being fifteen minutes late,” Camilla added.

You covered your neck with your hand and smiled self-consciously. “It was only 11 minutes, and in my defense, it’s been a few weeks. We may have been a little overzealous.” 

“A little concealer should take care of it for tonight,” Kiara said. 

“Tonight?” you asked. 

“Having seen the three of them in action at parties, we shouldn’t even bother with the concealer,” Nat said, not bothering to answer your question. _Parties?_

Camilla’s eyes widened. She was intrigued and impressed. “Really?!” 

Wanda nodded. “Really. I felt like I was watching the beginning of a porn.” 

“No you did not,” you protested. You had gotten a little frisky on Halloween but surely it hadn’t been that bad. 

“We almost saw nipple. That tips it into x-rated,” Nat said. 

“That was an accident. Steve got a little carried away.” 

“It was an accident when he pulled down your bustier?” Nat asked.

“He what?!” Liv asked. 

“Can we talk about this over dinner? I’ve really worked up an appetite,” you said, enjoying the shock on Liv’s face. 

You sat down to eat the takeout Nat had ordered and ate as Wanda and Nat gave Liv, Kiara, and Camilla a play-by-play of your Halloween party antics. That had been a really fun night. You hoped there was another party here soon. Maybe you could invite some friends. You hated going to the club for various reasons, but you loved partying and dancing with your friends. 

After dinner, there was a knock at the door. When Nat opened it, a flurry of people arrived with bags and boxes and garment racks and began setting up shop in her living room. 

“What the…?”

“Surprise!” Camilla said again. 

You looked between her and the people that had just arrived. Maybe your boyfriends had succeeded in fucking you senseless because you had no idea what was going on right now. 

“It’s a glam squad!” Kiara said. You looked over at the people again. They smiled and waved at you. 

“We could all use a little pampering, don’t you think?” Nat said. You agreed. 

You sat back as you got your hair and makeup done. There were lots of outfit options to choose from, and you picked out a form-fitting low cut dress. You weren’t sure if you would all be going out or staying in, but you just picked out what you liked. Nat showed you some heeled boots that had extra support and stabilization for your ankles. They were designed to keep you comfortable dancing in them all night without aggravating your freshly-healed ankle. 

“So we’re dancing?” you asked.

She just smirked and went to pick out her outfit. When you were all ready, everyone looked damn good. You had to admit that you looked amazing, and you were excited to dance, but you wondered where you were going and if the boys knew about this.

You didn’t put a blindfold on you because of your lashes, but Liv held a copy of Vogue in front of your face for the trip out of Natasha’s apartment and into the elevator. Camilla and Kiara held your arms and helped lead you in the right direction. The elevator went down a few floors and then stopped. You weren’t in the garage, so maybe you weren’t leaving the Tower? 

When the doors opened you heard music bumping. When you stepped off the elevator Liv kept the magazine up and your friends led you closer and closer to the sound of the music. They stopped and removed the magazine. The entertaining floor had been transformed into a club, complete with a DJ, a dancefloor, and lights. You saw your boyfriends, as well as a lot of their friends. But your friends were there too! Brandon and Jacob and Sienna and Vi and P and the Liams. Even Michelle had made it! You were so excited to greet all of your friends that you hadn’t properly taken in the surroundings. All around the room, screens showcased stills and gifs of your greatest hits against your assailant. The words “Strongest Avenger” were projected everywhere.

Tony came up to you and handed you a glass of champagne. “We have officially declared you to be the strongest Avenger.” 

You laughed, especially when you saw Pietro pouting at your title. 

“She doesn’t even have powers,” he whined. “How come she’s an Avenger and I’m not?” 

“The Avengers isn’t just about having powers. It’s about having that je ne sais quoi,” Tony said. 

You laughed harder as Pietro sighed exasperatedly. He got serious and turned to you. “I’m glad you’re ok,” he said. “And I’m very impressed with your skills.”

“Thank you.” 

You looked at the looped video of you punching Rollins in the throat. You were surprised that you could look at this footage without flinching, and finally say his name without getting a pit in your stomach. With this badass edit, you looked, well, worthy. But however much you looked like a hero, you’d be more than happy to leave all the fighting up to the real Avengers. 

Before you could greet everyone else, one of Kiara’s favorite songs came on and she dragged you onto the dancefloor. You looked helplessly at the boys as you followed your friends. You’d have to thank them later. You and your friends danced together for a while. It had been a while since you had all gone out like this. If people had thought that your dancing with Steve and Bucky on Halloween had been bad, they were in for a shock when they saw you dancing with your friends. You liked to shake your ass and grind and throw it back. If the boys had trouble with Fitness Marshall, you weren’t sure that they would be able to catch ass and you hadn’t wanted to test it. Your friends, however, were excellent dancers (for the most part, anyway). You had fun cutting loose with them.

When a slower song came on, you took a moment to breathe. You went with your friends to the bar to get something to drink. You even let Kiara order for you. Whatever this bartender made couldn’t compare to the Asgardian alcohol you had imbibed at the last party. Speaking of, it looked like your boys had gotten into the mead as they stumbled up to where you were sitting on a stool at the bar. 

“Enjoying your party, baby?” Steve asked. 

“So much. Thank you!” 

“Anything for you,” Bucky cooed. 

“I see you’ve gotten into the otherworldly liquor,” you said, sweeping some of Bucky’s hair out of his face. He shook his head so his hair fell back in front of his eyes. You laughed. 

“Drinks kept our hands occupied so we didn’t drag you away from this lovely party,” Steve said. 

“Really?” 

“Really,” Bucky confirmed. “You looked so sexy dancing out there.”

Steve agreed. “In fact, if you’re ready to g—”

Kiara called your name. “Finish your drink!” You did. She handed you a fresh drink and then motioned for you, Bucky, Steve, and Sam to follow her to the darts board. “Sam has been talking a lot of smack, so I thought I’d kick his ass in darts,” she said. 

You rolled your eyes. You knew how this went. Bucky hugged you from behind and rested his head against your neck as you watched the match. Wanda was banned from being anywhere near the competition, but Kiara was a lot better than you. Still not a match for Sam, but at least she put up a good fight. 

By the time you had finished your second drink, your hips were moving of their own accord, slowly grinding against Bucky. Steve got in front of you and grabbed your hips. You danced between them until Kiara and Sam heckled you to get a room. Kiara dragged your boys away from you and towards your circle of friends, no doubt for introductions/interrogations. You were about to go save your boyfriends when Sam came up next to you. 

“I just want you to know that I’ve got your back. I know they’re my best friends, but if you ever need anything, I’m there. They told me that you weren’t sure if I would’ve helped you the other day when you needed your space, and I want you to know that I would have.” 

“That means a lot, Sam. Thank you.” You hugged him. You weren’t used to having such heartfelt moments with him, but it was nice. He excused himself to refresh his drink. 

You anxiously looked over to where your boyfriends sat with your friends. You were glad to see that everyone was laughing. _Phew_. You were content to watch the people you cared about laugh and joke from afar. It was great to see.

“I admire your courage.” You hadn’t noticed Loki walk up next to you. 

“Thank you, Loki. That’s really nice.”

“Of course.” 

“Thor told me how you would send hordes of winged beasts after him when you were kids and he would throw paper spaceships at you. I just want to say ‘Well Done’. I can’t condone ripping pages out of library books!”

“I’m sorry, what did he say I sent after him?” 

“Hordes of winged beasts.” 

He laughed. “They were just bats!” 

You called Thor over. You felt like Loki was telling the truth, in which case Thor had embellished the truth quite a bit. “Loki says that it was just bats that he sent after you. Not ‘winged beasts’.” 

“You cannot believe a word my brother says,” Thor said. “I distinctly remember their claws and sharp fangs.” 

“Bats have claws and fangs,” Loki said. 

“Hmm. I do not know about that. What I do know is that our friend Amy is worthy!” 

Before you could stop him, he had picked you up and put you on his shoulder. He started up his “She is worthy!” chant and you were mortified when your friends joined in. They didn’t even know what he was referencing! 

Steve soon rescued you from Thor. He told Thor that your friends wanted to see some tricks with lighting and he was over there in a flash making different shapes and pictures out of lightning. 

“Thanks, baby,” you said. 

“Any time,” Steve said. He ran his hands up and down your sides. You recognized the look in his eyes. 

“Stevie, no! Your friends already think we’re porn.”

He giggled. “We’re porn?”

“Yeah,” you whined. “Last time you almost showed nipple and that makes it x-rated.”

He giggled some more. “But I love your nipples.” His hands slid up the front of your dress and cupped your breasts. 

“Stevie,” you warned. 

He kissed along your collarbone. “Waydaminute,” he slurred. “I thought I left some marks here.” 

“They were very carefully covered up with concealer and I would appreciate it if you didn’t mess that up.” 

Steve kissed your cleavage. You sighed and placed a hand on the back of his head. “We really shouldn’t be doing this.” He licked a stripe between your breasts. 

“I leave you two alone for one second!” Bucky said. 

“Bucky! Thank God! Please talk some sense into him!” 

Steve raised his head. “Buck! Our friends think we’re porn! We’ll show them, right?” 

Bucky smirked mischievously. “Maybe we should take this to the couch.” 

“ _Bucky!_ You’re supposed to be the reasonable one!” 

“Hasn’t he earned a night off?” Steve murmured. 

“Amen,” Bucky said, pulling both of you towards the couch. He pushed Steve so he was sitting on the couch. He sat down next to Steve and pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him. 

“Bucky,” you whispered. He smacked your ass. “James Buchanan Barnes,” you commanded. Your use of his full name had the opposite of the intended effect, as you saw him grin. You had forgotten how much he liked it when you used his given name. He kneaded your ass with two hands and looked at you defiantly, daring you to warn him again. You could tell that he was just trying to get a rise out of you, but you were more than happy to play along. “James. Would it kill you to behave?” you scolded. 

Before Bucky could give a cheeky response, Steve’s hands grabbed your breasts again. “ _Boys! Honestly!_ ” They smirked at each other before laying you down on your back on the couch so that they could get on top of you. “No nipples,” you reminded them. Steve nodded solemnly before his mouth went back to your chest. 

This time there was no interruption from Loki, so you made out until one of your favorite songs came on. You pushed your boys off of you and gathered all your friends so you could dance and sing along. You partied all night long. You had a lot to celebrate: You were healthy and safe, you had great friends, and you had incredible boyfriends. You had been through a lot but were ready to put that behind you and move forward, stronger than ever. 


End file.
